Posted By Heisanevilgenius about 11 months, 1 week ago
House of the Dead – Part 1, 9.3 out of 10 based on 32 ratings
Okay, this is a movie review, but it’s a movie about a video game so I can post it here, okay? Right?
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So what’s the word on part 2?
Yay! My debut as a Minion! Very well done, Tom.
This review ruled! Great work.
Great first part. I honestly expected waay more Matrix shots since it’s the only thing I remembered from this film besides the general horribleness to it. I also didn’t know Boll was such an unapologetic dick, going as far as to put himself over Eli Roth. I knew he did horrible films and all, but I’ve always seen him smiling, so I just supposed he was an enthusiasmic, if horrible, director. It’s nice to see how someone can really ruin the last shreds of empathy people could have for them so thoroughly.
Only nitpick I might have is that you don’t mention the fact that Uwe Boll really does these films in order to make money out of a tax loophole, so he actually made money out of Bloodrayne.
I honestly didn’t know about that boxing match stuff, just wow…
I’ve seen a few of his movies including this piece of crap, know that he thinks his movies are good, and know that he’s serious with his film making outside of his un-funny films that are supposed to make fun of things like Blood Rayne..
But that was another level almost, lol..
Anyways, I remember watching this because it was free on Hulu once a long time ago and I was bored thinking “Well, I liked the games, and it’s pretty simple so it shouldn’t be to bad even for a video game movie” but god was I ever wrong..
I liked postal (seriously…it exactly what the game has been so … wtf?) , I liked rampage and I only heared good things about Dafur.
Yes he sucks as a director and he thinks he is a smart guy and a great director but from what I´ve heared he is nice guy – as a human being.
I like him even though he sucks…
ps: the boxing stuff is fucking hilarious – that is one reason why I like him so much .
“Why would Sega sponsor a rave?” You really have to ask why Sega would do something stupid?
Well Sega did make a game out of a Toilet; quite literally. I don’t think there will ever be a pit big enough, where Sega won’t sink.
Which is a pity because I loved them back when they made Genesis, Master System and Mega Drive.
Never, NEVER underestimate Sega’s ability for stupid. They sometimes really make it seem like they’re really good at it.
Hey, great review, just got a few comments. Hopefully Diamanda doesn’t pull an Uwe Boll and hunt me down in order to henceforth brutally beat me into submission. Though in all honesty a sick part of me might enjoy that, but I digress…
5:45 How about the fact that at the beginning of the movie, we’re all told that most of the main characters will die; SPOILER MUCH?!
16:00 The ‘millenia/centuries’ bit actually has some sense to it. A millenia is a thousand years, a century is a hundred years. A thousand years ago there were only natives in North America (Except for some viking who visited Lans Aux Meadows, Newfoundland around 1000 AD), and native Americans didn’t typically build houses to my understanding. If I had to guess, that house looks to be roughly 16-17th century European, so the girl saying “centuries” was actually a legitimate correction. The “I’ll give you a cookie” joke was hilarious though lol
21:40 I believe the boat scene was portrayed realistically, it’s zombies climbing up on a boat soaking wet. Not an easy thing to do even for the living. Do you expect them to fly out of the water, jump on the boat, a horde at a time, while he fends them off with just a Dese… desert… eagle… ok I’m not defending that scene any more, it’s stupid, the Deagle is a 4lb jammy paper weight, and it’s WAY overused in every form of media. As mentioned in the vid, the max capacity for a Desert Eagle is 9 rounds for the variant chambered in .357 Magnum… FAIL! IT’S CALLED RELOADING, MOVIES! IT HAPPENS!
26:00 From someone who owns several firearms as well as put several thousand rounds of various cartridges through many different designs downrange, you’re correct on the importance of gun safety, and this officer’s complete lack there of. Rule #1; FINGER OFF THE TRIGGER UNTIL YOU’RE READY TO FIRE!
26:25 *facepalm* FINGER OFF THE TRIG-nevermind, yeah, stupid movie…
The Mistress on Blistered Thumbs? I approve of this development!
I won’t mindlessly place a thumbs down on his movies, but I prefer to see one movie before I judge harshly.
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There’s nothing like sitting around the computer with your family, murdering visitors to your theme park.