Saints Row: The Third Review

Posted By Austin Yorski about 1 year, 6 months ago

Saints Row: The Third Review

At the end of Saints Row 2, Pierce asked the nameless main character “What do we do now?” It’s a question that not only applied to the Saints themselves, who had conquered the entire city of Stilwater, but to the franchise as a whole. Having pulled itself out of the shadow of Grand Theft Auto, the Saints Row series needed a new direction to stay relevant. So Volition answered that question the same way the franchise’s protagonist did: “Whatever the fuck we wanna do.”

Saints Row: The Third is insane; bonkers even. Its cheese has slipped entirely off of its cracker, and that’s just the way it should be. After the introductory sequence–which parodies Star Wars, 2001: A Space Odyssey, wacky Japanese commercials, and Street Fighter in rapid succession–you’re dumped right into a crazy bank heist in which every gang member is disguised as Johnny Gat, the most popular character in the series and one of the bank robbers himself. It’s a hilarious sequence, and one that sets the tone for the free-falling, zombie-fighting, luchador-wrestling action that will ensue. After that, you’re dumped into the character creator.

The default character is pretty cool, but the possibilities are endless.

The “Initiation Station” character creator was released separately before the main game for a reason: it’s just fun to use. You can choose your avatar’s gender, nationality, skin color (everything from albino to metallic silver), voice type (including zombie), personality, and various other facial and body features. It’s as robust as it is ridiculous, and even better, it’s not permanent. I started out as a Caucasian man with a British accent, mid-mission changed into an Asian woman with a Russian accent, and then became a huge African-American dude for the last few levels. Of course, clothing shops scattered throughout the game give you even more options to customize your gangster, leading to literally the most fun I’ve ever had playing dress up.

But that’s not why you play Saints Row though, right? You want to hit Belgian businessmen in the mouth with a giant purple penis, and that is one category in which the game delivers in spades. It can’t be overstated how wacky this game gets; some of the greatest “Wow Moments” outside of Uncharted are buried in this sandbox, although you’ll have to dig through quite a few tutorial missions to get to them. It seems as though the game assumes you’re new to the series, because every activity throughout the city is given its own little intro mission, which seriously slows down the plot pacing in the early going. Also, a lot of the characterization (and some whole characters) are thrown right out the window from the get-go, so don’t go into this with high hopes for continuity.

A gang of mexican wrestlers is the most normal thing in steelport.

With that said, Saints Row 3 does a lot to improve on the series formula. The game sets up the standard “take down three themed crime organizations,” but then goes out of its way to shake things up, resulting in the best plot in the series. This increased focus on the narrative means that there is less freedom to the mission structure, but this is compensated for with the ability to make choices at the end of some missions that affect the game in minor ways, from gaining certain allies to monetary benefits. It’s a nice touch, but I’m sure it will bother some fans who preferred being able to take apart rival gangs in their own order.

Getting to the end credits is a shorter trip than you might be used to, but there is still plenty of content to be had in Steelport. There are assassinations to be carried out, cars to be stolen, ramps to jump, and pedestrians to crush. It’s all a bit juvenile, but if you want to get 100% on this title, you’ll be investing quite a few hours. In addition, the final mission can be replayed in order to see a different ending, although you’ll have to start a new game to replay previous levels. It’s unclear if this will affect the confirmed Saints Row 4, but it certainly looks like Volition is hedging its bets in the direction of a long-running story.