Duke Nukem Forever Satirical DLC Announced
Apparently this game feels comfortable mocking the likes of its arguably superior contemporaries. Clearly Duke lacks self-awareness where it counts.
Duke Nukem Forever
Players: 1 Player Offline, Unknown Online Players
Publisher: 2K Games
Genres: First-person Shooter
Publisher: 2K Games
Genres: First-person Shooter
Release Date: June 14, 2011
Developer: Gearbox Software
MSRP: $59.99
Developer: Gearbox Software
MSRP: $59.99
Put on your shades and prepare to step into the boots of Duke Nukem, whose legend has reached epic proportions in the years since his last adventure. The alien hordes are invading and only Duke can save the world. Pig cops, alien shrink rays and enormous alien bosses can't stop our hero from accomplishing his goal: to save the world, save the babes and to be a bad-ass while doing it.
The King arrives with an arsenal of over-the-top weapons, non-stop action, and unprecedented levels of interactivity. This game puts the pedal to the metal and tongue firmly in cheek. Shoot hoops, lift weights, play pool, draw crude messages on whiteboards or check out the babes that occupy Duke's life - that is if you can pull yourself away from destroying alien invaders. With hours and hours of over-the-top single player action, and a range of bodacious multiplayer modes, rest assured knowing the fun will last.
Duke Nukem is AWESOME! …but his game is AWFUL!
Posted By Fraser about 8 months, 1 week ago
We went into this episode with a LOT of bias. Bias that was in FAVOR of the Duke Nukem Forever. Watch as our excitement turns into confusion then to anger, and finally depression. This is a sad day for gaming, and the possible end of Duke Nukem… forever.
Before you start with this episode… how about a little context:
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Sober second thought:
Check us out on Facebook you crazy bastards!
We’re on Teh Twitternet’s too!
And if you like places with crazy crap on the walls, check out our YouTube Channel!
Duke Nukem Boobs Trailer Trash
Yep, we know that everyone has to wait again for Duke.....assholes... but they gave us this trailer full of boobies and we also show the funny vid they did for the announcement of the date being pushed back.
Duke Nukem Forever First Impressions
Duke Nukem Forever is FINALLY being released in a little over a Week. So what can we learn from the Demo?
Duke Nukem Demo
Handsome Tom and Camera Man Joe walk through the new Duke Nukem Forever Demo. Are you ready to get some?
Duke Nukem is AWESOME! ...but his game is AWFUL!
We went into this episode with a LOT of bias. Bias that was in FAVOR of the Duke Nukem Forever. Watch as our excitement turns into confusion then to anger, and finally depression. This is a sad day for gaming, and the possible end of Duke Nukem... forever.
Sage Reviews: Duke Nukem Forever
Only Duke Nukem can be in a game so underwhelming, and still be so cool.
Duke Nukem Forever Angry Review
After many delays, rewrites, and graphical upgrades Angry Joe finally releases his review for Duke Nukem Forever. Should you always bet on Duke?
Duke Nukem Sketch Master
Orlando gives us this week's Duke Nukem and Babes! 
Duke Nukem Forever Angry Review
After many delays, rewrites, and graphical upgrades Angry Joe finally releases his review for Duke Nukem Forever. Should you always bet on Duke?
Sage Reviews: Duke Nukem Forever
Only Duke Nukem can be in a game so underwhelming, and still be so cool.
Duke Nukem is AWESOME! ...but his game is AWFUL!
We went into this episode with a LOT of bias. Bias that was in FAVOR of the Duke Nukem Forever. Watch as our excitement turns into confusion then to anger, and finally depression. This is a sad day for gaming, and the possible end of Duke Nukem… forever.
Duke Nukem Forever First Impressions
Duke Nukem Forever is FINALLY being released in a little over a Week. So what can we learn from the Demo?
Duke Nukem Demo
Handsome Tom and Camera Man Joe walk through the new Duke Nukem Forever Demo. Are you ready to get some?
Duke Nukem Forever Demo Date Announced
It’s time for another special message from Gearbox President Randy Pitchford.
Duke Nukem Forever Satirical DLC Announced
Apparently this game feels comfortable mocking the likes of its arguably superior contemporaries. Clearly Duke lacks self-awareness where it counts.
Duke Nukem Forever Angry Review
After many delays, rewrites, and graphical upgrades Angry Joe finally releases his review for Duke Nukem Forever. Should you always bet on Duke?
Sage Reviews: Duke Nukem Forever
Only Duke Nukem can be in a game so underwhelming, and still be so cool.
Duke Nukem is AWESOME! ...but his game is AWFUL!
We went into this episode with a LOT of bias. Bias that was in FAVOR of the Duke Nukem Forever. Watch as our excitement turns into confusion then to anger, and finally depression. This is a sad day for gaming, and the possible end of Duke Nukem… forever.
Duke Nukem Forever First Impressions
Duke Nukem Forever is FINALLY being released in a little over a Week. So what can we learn from the Demo?
Duke Nukem Demo
Handsome Tom and Camera Man Joe walk through the new Duke Nukem Forever Demo. Are you ready to get some?
Duke Nukem Forever Demo Date Announced
It’s time for another special message from Gearbox President Randy Pitchford.
Listen to Duke Nukem Devs Talk Environments, Textures
Wherein the finer points of game design are discussed. It’s significantly more mature than you would think.
Duke Nukem Forever Review
Posted By Yousif A. about 8 months, 1 week ago
Duke Nukem Forever Review
Duke Nukem Forever is an age 18 rated game. The 18 year olds of today were 6 when Duke Nukem Forever was announced in 1998. These very same people were 4 when Duke Nukem 3D came out in 1996. So, in the mid-nineties these children were far too concerned with custard and jumping to give a damn about this now legendary announcement. It’s more than likely that the only knowledge these people have of Duke comes from the ramblings of us old people who won’t shut up about a game that never happened. These people will now get to play Duke Nukem and see what all the fuss was about. We old people should get ready to do a lot of apologizing.
| PROS | It came out! Actually quite a funny game at times, loads of interactive asides, (boobs everywhere) |
| CONS | This could take awhile… loading times from the past, dated everything, boring gameplay, poor design, sinking feeling of shallowness |
| WTF?! | Wall boobs that you can slap! |
The game starts at the end, the end of Duke Nukem 3D that is. Your tutorial is actually the final boss section from the last game, which when defeated, turns out to just be a game that Duke was playing while women were doing naughty things to him. Soon you discover that the aliens have returned after 12 years apparently in peace. After being told by the president not to engage the enemy, the aliens bring the fight to you and while they are at it steal all the beautiful ladies too. That’s pretty much it for the plot, prepare to shoot aliens and get back the women.
Duke seems to be in no rush to get started. The opening section of the game drags on for quite some time. Traveling from your pent house suite, players get to experience the life of Duke, interacting with random objects and watching people climb over the place to get to you. The first time you do all of this, it’s actually quite funny. Should you have to do this all again however (like me and my corrupting save file), the novelty wears off quickly.
And that’s pretty much the line that can sum up the whole game, ‘wears off quickly’. DNF is a load of ideas crammed into one under finished article and the joy of finally getting your hands on the title dissipates within the hour. When you finally get to combat, your fists and throwing objects are your only form of attack. This is kind of fun, but the enemies are so few and far between that you wonder when anything is going to happen. After some mild drug abuse, you finally get your hands on a gun and everything goes downhill from there.
Either he is really big or Duke is really tiny.
While we’re on the subject of guns, let me start by saying something I never thought I’d have to when it comes to Duke: shooting a gun in DNF is not a gratifying experience. Apart from the shotgun, none of the weapons presented in the game feel like they have any kick to them. Moreover, of all the weapons in your arsenal, the majority of them either chew through ammo, have too little ammunition, or outright feel redundant in design and function. Hell, even the devastator – an automatic rocket launcher with 60 shot – feels like it does nothing exciting as you strike your enemies with it. And when you do manage to down an enemy with a gun, you are rewarded with one of two different flavors of disappointment. Either you get to watch the enemy rag doll haphazardly in a way not seen since the PS2, or you get showered in meaty chunks which are about as well rendered as those from a PS1-generation game. It seems in their dedication to make the game a call back to the older days of Duke, the team behind DNF forgot to bring gun-based combat into this generation.
Unlike others, I don’t so much mind the absence of the weapon wheel. However, as a design choice that may prove annoying to players, it is worth mentioning. In DNF, players are limited to carrying around two weapons at once, and have the choice to substitute which ones occupy one of the available slots. Personally, I don’t think this is a terrible way to play. However, my problem lies in the fact that limiting players to only two gun choices seems just one too short. With the shotgun never leaving your care (if you have any sense), the second slot will almost always be reserved for something long range and mildly effective, reducing the weapons with less obvious application to redundancy and obscurity. One extra slot, and the shrink ray or any number of other weapons may have gotten some usage outside of the immediate gratification found in their nostalgia.
Once you actually get into combat, though, these gun shenanigans are the least of your problems. Your “Ego” bar represents your health in Duke, and it functions à la Halo 2. This means that a recharging system is in place, and ducking into cover will see you back to tip top fighting condition in moments. A fine idea in principle, which DNF makes sure to ruin in practice. Seeing no fun in just making your weapons largely ineffectual, the design team has littered the game with enemies that almost entirely deplete Duke’s Ego in one or two swipes, turning the battlefield into one big game of “take cover!” Spoiler: being in cover is not fun.
After 12 years this guy still can't stop the circle strafe
You can extend the period you can spend out of cover by permanently boosting your Ego. To do this, you will need to explore the world and take part in one of many interactive sections scattered though the game. These range from making popcorn in a microwave, to beating the high score on a pinball machine, to looking at yourself in the mirror, to slapping a random pair of alien boobs hanging on the wall. As you can imagine, many of these little health boosters are easily overlooked, but for me, finding them makes up the most enjoyable part of the game. (Did I really just say that side quests make up the most enjoyable part of a Duke Nukem game!?) Honestly, finding a hidden Ego boost is actually quite fun. In one section, you even get to play air hockey, and while the controls may be terrible, it’s better than being involved in that god awful combat.
It could almost be said that the Ego boosts are the one well executed part of the game, if it wasn’t for the fact you have to look for them in a world designed behind blindfolds. Really, it has been a long while since I have seen such poor level design. Not only does this game host one of the worst cases of pop-up textures in the UT3 engine wheelhouse, but when the textures do load, the game makes you wish they would go away again. DNF is ugly in a pre-2007 kind of way. When the 360 was first released, this would have been a good look at what the console was capable of in its early stages, but now it’s just hideous. I’ll admit that every now and again the game surprises you, and pulls out some really sporadic quality, almost like it had been spit-polished in certain places. But far and few between a visually enjoyable game does not make. I does make you wonder what the team was up to when you realise that the naked women are the best rendered models in the game. Perhaps if they put that kind of effort into the rest of the game we would have a winner on our hands.
Prepare to spend a lot of time on turrets and not enjoy any of it
It’s not just the graphics that are sub-par. The actual layouts for the levels are from another time, and as a hint, that time is not the future. 90% of the game is made up of dull, lifeless environments that grind away your very soul. The flow of DNF is never smooth, and the whole experience feels rather disjointed at times. The underground level is a perfect example of boring design, full of lifeless corridors with repetitive pseudo-puzzles and well hidden unintentionalpit-traps. Half the time, it’s not even clear which way you should be going. Walk off the beaten path and you’ll only be treated to bad lighting and possible instant death. The joke on the loading screens which had me chuckling along with the game – ‘if you fall of a high ledge and die, it’s probably your fault’ – becomes less funny when you realize it’s really not.
Speaking of loading screens, I hope you like them. It’s a good thing that the 12 year wait for the game taught Duke fans patience, as consumers of this title are going to need it. When Half-Life was released in 1998 (the year this game was announced), there were loading times roughly every 10 minutes of gameplay, which took maybe 5 seconds to complete depending on your PC. DNF makes sure to pay homage to the year it was announced, and has loading times every 10 minutes, all of which take around a minute or two to finish. And if you die (and you’ll die), expect to see these loading times again. It’s simply inexcusable, especially considering the pop-up that then occurs every time the game comes back into existence.
So after all of these complaints, is there anything positive to say about the game? Not really, I could go on about how the driving sections are terrible, the variety of enemies is criminally small, etc, but it seems pointless. I will, however, step up to defend a rather contentious element of DNF. A large number of reviewers, journalists and other commenters have questioned the themes, and the crassness of the humor presented in the game. That, to me, is like shooting fish in a barrel labelled “shoot the fish in this barrel.” Yes, the game makes fun of subjects that may be a little touchy, but knowing what Duke Nukem was, and for that matter, strives to be, people should have been prepared for that going in. Viewed as the base, but self-aware humor that it is, the game’s array of political incorrectitude is actually done in pretty good jest, in my opinion. In fact, I’ll go out of my way to say that I laughed out loud at some of the jokes.
Don't draw a willy, don't draw a willy, don't draw a….
And that’s truthfully the best part about DNF, for me: the humor. Jon St John returns as the voice actor from Duke Nukem 3D, and does a great job of getting the cheesy one liners just right. Sly humor about Christian Bale, the Halo series and more innuendos than you can shake an erotically shaped stick at litter the game. It almost makes up for the problems. For all the mistakes in the game, you can never claim that the developers got Duke’s personality wrong. One small gripe even in this department, however, is the frequency with which Duke spouts his cheesy one-liners (read: at every possible opportunity). Some of the gravitas of his character is lost due to this over-use, which also stops any of the new one-liners from becoming all too memorable.
Ultimately, after 12 years of waiting for a game that at many points looked like it would never come out, DNF turned out to be an utter disappointment. With only a few redeeming qualities – none of them fully realized - the game will likely become more of a joke than its production time. I don’t doubt for a second that it was the troubled lead-up to release that lead the game to be so jilted and confused, but that’s no excuse for the $60/£40 price mark attached to the disc. My only hope is that Gearbox can now start a new Duke Nukem project from the ground-up and get the game completed in one run. That is, if this experience didn’t damage the legend beyond redemption. I mean, this title wasn’t just bad, it was heart breaking. If it wasn’t for the fact this is a Duke Nukem game, I would have stopped playing and returned it after the first few hours.
And it’s on that note that no other review badge will do for this game but Legendary. This is a title that has been talked about for over a decade, been in the media spot light more times than I can count, and seen the end of the studio that set out to create it. It will live on in memory for years to come. This is the bad game everyone will mention. DNF is the game that everyone told those once-6 year old children about, helping to boost its status (and no doubt sales) so high that the let down can only be described as… well… legendary.
At least we still have Serious Sam!
This game was purchased on the PS3 by the reviewer from his local game store. He regrets this, and wants his money back. Seriously. The game was played for roughly 10 hours on multiple difficultly settings, and was completed. There is a multiplayer mode that was not played.
2/10
Duke Nukem Boobs Trailer Trash
Yep, we know that everyone has to wait again for Duke.....assholes... but they gave us this trailer full of boobies and we also show the funny vid they did for the announcement of the date being pushed back. Duke Nukem Forever First Impressions
Duke Nukem Forever is FINALLY being released in a little over a Week. So what can we learn from the Demo? Duke Nukem Demo
Handsome Tom and Camera Man Joe walk through the new Duke Nukem Forever Demo. Are you ready to get some? Duke Nukem is AWESOME! ...but his game is AWFUL!
We went into this episode with a LOT of bias. Bias that was in FAVOR of the Duke Nukem Forever. Watch as our excitement turns into confusion then to anger, and finally depression. This is a sad day for gaming, and the possible end of Duke Nukem... forever. Sage Reviews: Duke Nukem Forever
Only Duke Nukem can be in a game so underwhelming, and still be so cool. Duke Nukem Forever Angry Review
After many delays, rewrites, and graphical upgrades Angry Joe finally releases his review for Duke Nukem Forever. Should you always bet on Duke? Duke Nukem Sketch Master
Orlando gives us this week's Duke Nukem and Babes!-
August 02, 2011 at 10:56am
12 year production?
I don’t buy it. I honestly thought this game felt rushed out. Are we sure that 3D Realms actually left Gearbox Studios anything to work with beyond a series of half-assed concepts based on shooter fads before the studio shut down? That’s the only way i can explain pathetic weapon variation with no impact, the utterly bizarre tonal shift when Duke enters an alien hive, and the fact that there seem to be some environmental glitches that instantly kill you. The game performs worse than the original Halo for fucks sake. If you held it to standards from 2004 it might look like the shit, but this is 2011 and it tries to mock games that have far surpassed it. Dear God… it’s actually making me look back on Halo 3 and think of it’s story campaign positively. I need to start saving up for Crysis 2…
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June 27, 2011 at 01:57am
The Mainstream gaming media , the critics, and pro gamers can stuff it. Their opinions are made to make them look cool.
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August 01, 2011 at 01:20am
You Duke fantards never cease to amuse me with your delicious tears. Opinions when it comes to videogames are made to inform you uninformed basement dweller,not to make anybody look cool. The real idiots around here are the little children defending a terrible shitty game and attacking others for speaking the truth.
Don’t worry though because retarded reviewers such as PC Gamer who clearly have their nostalgic glasses set on too tightly and have never played a great FPS in their entire lives are giving this pile of festering feces unjustified inflated scored.
Buyer’s remorse?
And to Kenny F. Dude you need to buy yourself a clue. Halo like it or not will be remembered fondly while DNF will not. Get over it and quit liking a butthurt fan.
The PC Gamer review is nothing but complete and utter bullshit. In what fucking universe is this former king of vaperware deserving of such a generous score.
At least you are nowhere near as braindead as Wesker500 over at Deivantart who constantly has Chris Redfield killed by the Duke when Duke is not man enough to be holding his jock.
I could only imagine what would happen if Spoony reviews this game.
To all of the Duke Nukem supporters,go play a REAL videogame.
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June 23, 2011 at 11:32am
I think that reviewers questioning the crassness and attitude of this game just shows how much the industry and gaming culture has gotten over gross-out humor and objectifying women. Especially that last part, I mean these days people can find porn within a 2 second internet search, so now it’s just annoying to have pseudo-porn in entertainment. It’s just part of what makes this game so very dated.
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June 21, 2011 at 05:30pm
I expected more from you Angry Joe! A 2/10? I agree that there needs to be way more enemies… the game isn’t running on Unreal 3 its using Unreal 2.5 and you are playing the Xbox version =x really bad load times. The game runs way faster on PC with 5 second load times and a bit better looking visuals.
The overall game is nothing like you reviewed lol, the game is decent and can be engaging.
Bad Angry joe bad! you mke me really mad!… hey that rymed.
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June 22, 2011 at 07:28am
Your one confused puppy! This is my review. If you want to see Angry Joe’s then you need to head on over to his video review. It currently is displayed in the links at the top of the website.
Just because we both have sweet facial hair and my name translated into English technically is Joseph, doesn’t mean we are one and the same!
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June 20, 2011 at 02:37am
“At least we still have Serious Sam!”
That’s what I thought when I realised how crappy the new Duke Nukem game is. -
June 18, 2011 at 01:32pm
To me, it’s okay at best, I don’t think it’s that terrible nor that amazing, it’s just okay.
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June 17, 2011 at 05:59am
I don’t care how bad it is I want to play it, can’t wait for it to hit the bargain bin…
How long til Joe’s review is up, that would be hilarious xD -
June 17, 2011 at 02:23am
i paid 67 euros for this shit and pre-ordered it i played it once never touching it again i rather see how the duke nukem next-gen ends up atleast it’s free and it uses better graphics engine and it is hopefully old school shooting game… but here’s the problem i have somewhat somesort code of ethics never throwing a game away but i really want to return this monstrosity and get my money back or atleast a better game for it help me to make a choice people but thumbs up for this comment if you think i should just return the damn thing and thumbs down if you think i should just keep it
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June 17, 2011 at 02:19am
What in world is a Duke Nukem?…
Yeah…I am one of those people who was 5 years-old when Duke Nukem 3D was a thing. But, I did do my homework before getting into Duke Nukem Forever, and…yeah no, the game is still a disappointment. I figured that it was mostly the hardcore fans who were at the age of reason in 1995 that were let down by the game, but judging by the fact that I have no real past experience with Duke, no… Its mediocre for everyone. Sad day.
Also, people really criticized the game for crude humor and content? Really?! Hm, I didn’t know people still lived under rocks nowadays… -
June 16, 2011 at 07:01pm
I was told this was a Duke Nukem Forever review, but a lot of what’s being described doesn’t match the copy of Duke Nukem Forever I’m playing right now. Anyone have Cole Phelps’ number?
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June 16, 2011 at 05:47pm
I haven’t played this game, but I have seen a lot of gameplay footage. I have played Duke Nukem 3D though. And I kind of understand where this review comes in. I’m not going to argue the score, or the review, I’m going to argue where game falls over in my eyes.
The Duke is Bad Ass. He always was, and is always… supposed to be. But from what I’ve seen in the combat in this game makes me doubt that. I know everyone in this generation are used to and love their practical and common sense cover based combat, and I agree, yes… It has it’s fundamental place in games these days to remind people they’re not walking lead fridges. But Duke Nukem IS a walking lead fridge. As I said before, he’s Bad Ass. And while letting him be a bullet sponge may be a bit silly, why not let him do Bad Ass things, like take cover with him. That is to say, in some awesome non-Splinter Cell way, take an alien hostage, blow a hole in its chest and use it as cover while shooting through just made hole in chest. THAT is Duke Nukem. Taking cover to then bust out from it guns blazing while running across the room to the next cover, rather than running behind chest high walls, THAT is Duke Nukem. (er, I’ll say it now, I’m not sure if this game actually has a cover system or not. I hope it doesn’t. Cover systems aren’t Bad Ass).
And in case my point wasn’t made, apart from scripted moments, this game isn’t Bad Ass, apart from some of the one liners. The weapons aren’t all that Bad Ass, Duke doesn’t fight Bad Ass, the levels aren’t Bad Ass, the game doesn’t seem to be Bad Ass. This is where it all came apart for me. They forgot who the Duke was, and just remembered his personality.
As someone who never was into Duke Nukem or video game sin general mostly because I was born in 1990 and never introduced to this era of games, I don’t really care that it failed.
I do however feel bad for people like you who were so excited and slowly realized how horrible it was was. I have experienced those feelings before, and your final sober response video really got to me. Out of most reviews or play throughs of this game, this one really got to me because you actually cared and hoped that it would be good. Funny enough though I can see Why Duke Nukem is awesome but his game is fail. XD
It actually saddened later that day after watching the review, when I watched a Youtube video of a girl’s boyfriend getting the box set and being so excited, Because I knew he was heading down the same road you were. Course it’s kind of funny how many people are defending this game, but really… I think they are just in denile and what’s really sad is that people are spending those 60 bucks even when they hear it’s bad because they just can’t let the dream go.
P.S.
Dated graphics? Anything from “AWESOME” Nintendo looks 10 years old – textureless blobs in colors of rainbow… just like on N64.
Free advice:
next time you review something, don’t draw dicks for an hour and don’t stop to read or touch everything.
This game doesn’t suck, you do.
It is the dick drawing that stands at the heart of the issue. It was a nice touch, and gave some hope for that trademark Duke Nukem crassness. Everyone knows it isn’t going to be the most technically sound game because of the development hell it went through. What you would expect is a dated game that manages to hearken back to the original, and manages to deliver entertainment in spite of the rough gameplay. DNF manages to mix crappy gameplay with terribly executed toilet humor instead of the blatantly misogynistic one-liners and tits mixed with decent but nothing-to-write-home-about playability.
Don’t be such a twat. The game is shit for $60 and defending it makes you the worst kind of fanboy.
What misogynistic one-liners? Could you name one?
The entire game is steeped heavily in the “women as objects” philosophy, which is misogynistic in and of itself.
There not REALLY reviews actually, yes they may be on a reviewing site but they are listed in the “Lets Play” section. This type of “review” is more like going to a friends house to look at a game.
When I go to a friend house to look at a game, we don’t sit there with notebooks and write down every little aspect about game then compare them after. We sit down ,play the game, crack jokes and have fun.
Yes they are kind of reviews but a reviewer usually gos through the whole game than writes down what they thought about it. This is more of a “What’s the first few hours of the game like” which as this shows is Boring.
I was wrong. DNF is awesome! Too bad so many people can’t get behind it.
By the way, the kid that’s blocking the throne? You could have just stood in front of him to bomb his picture. I did, on the resulting photo duke was blocking out the kind completely except for an arm.
Watching you guys while having a nice drink during a mild Japanese summer day is great. I know this game sucked but you guys are always entertaining. I would love to just hang out with you guys and bull shit. Pardon me, a bit drunk.
Anyway, I hope Fraser is having a nice time in San Francisco. Have a safe trip.
Considering the development cycle this game went through, I’m not surprised that not only it’s not very good, but that I can instantly guess why it isn’t, either.
The design is extremely schizophrenic: it’s like every hand this game has been through wanted to left its finger prints on the final product: the driving sections, the puzzles, the platforming, the catchphrases and extremely immature dialogue… They made a mishmash of everything.
None of these elements are bad on their own, especially not the immature humour (it’s the Duke we’re talking about), but they have never been combined as much as thrown together with no effort to actually make them meld… Or even an idea as to where the game was going.
Take the most important part about this game, for example: the shooting. It’s a throwback to the run and gun style of old FPSs, but with regenerating health, and the idea of immature self-appreciation that increases your ego… Which is nice, but regenerating health isn’t really old school at all, and neither is the fact that weapons actually have a magazine to keep track of. And the two weapon limit? That’s bullshit of the highest caliber.
The only “contemporary” game that is a honest and true, and most importantly fun, throwback at the old FPS style is Serious Sam, and I’m saying “contemporary” because it got an HD upgrade relatively recently, for the game itself isn’t really “new” at all. Duke Nukem Forever should have copied more from that and tried less to be an old game that tried to be cute by playing to contemporary tastes.
Sadly, this lack of a project vision and a proper development cycle is why Serious Sam is “retro” and Duke Nukem Forever is “outdated”, even though they apparently have the same shtick.
You know what might have helped us viewers with this utterly depressing series of videos? If you had gone ahead and shown us that Minecraft stuff you were talking about near the end.
If it makes you feel any better Fraser, despite the game, I enjoyed the episode of the show itself, surrounding the game. The humor between the lot of you, it made me smile, and the only sad part was seeing the collective enthusiasm you all had for the game . . . dwindle as the show went on.
To put it simply, I’m sorry you guys didn’t enjoy the game (I’m sorry I didn’t enjoy the game) but the show itself wasn’t a downer, I enjoyed that show. Thank you so much, for this episode and all the episodes.
It’s not even close to Duke Nukem 3D, but I can see that you guys haven’t played the Duke Nukem 3D at all. The only thing you recognize is the dukes catchphrases and then complain about the things that, In your opinion did not exist in the original DN3D. And damn your bad at solving easy puzzles!
i fond somone who gave duke nukem forever a good review
http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation/748-Duke-Nukem-Forever
Let’s not forget PC Gamer: http://www.pcgamer.com/2011/06/10/duke-nukem-forever-review/
An 80??? Sweet Santa Christ!! Sounds like a fanboy wrote this “review” and not someone with journalist credibility. If this what passes as quality reviews for PC Gamer,then goddamn it. This only further demonstrates why I hate PC gaming and those who look down on consoles. It’s not April’s Fools?! The rest of the real world is giving DNF the treatment it deserves. Sorry fanboys but this is one fight you cannot win.
The PC version may not have terrible load times and whatnot,but the rest of the problems such as two weapon limit, regenerating health,sexism, and disturbing content are still there. Modding cannot even begin to save this game from being remembered as a complete and utter failure
Just accept that you’re wrong and it’s a waste of time defending this trash.
You do realized that was a april fools joke right? He just reviewed the game fore real today, and hated it. The one you posted was a joke made about how the game was never going to come out.
Don’t let the others get to you Ben. I also share your fondness for tentacles. Giggity. <3
Seriously, with it’s long troubled production and the fact the industry has long evolved past this type of game and humor why did anyone expect this to be good?
Think no-one expected a triple A title, but like the good people of VGA I was expecting a decent throwback to the 90s and the Duke 3D game. Say Duke 3D just with updated graphs and new levels. But they added so much pointless crap just to get more game time out of it, and it is stuff no-one asked for.
Like they said, they should have made like a 5 to 7 hour game, release it as a budget title and have some mindless action and catchphrases.
awwww crap. My preorder of the game was delayed and just when i saw this, maybe i can still cancel the order. So I checked and it has just been shipped today. Well I hope at least the extras of the BoS edition are nice.
One of the great things with this show is that you actually get to see actual people play and enjoy games. I was a bit ambivelent about Duke Nuken before seeing these episodes and seeing the reactions here I decided against buying the game. Ill probebly try it once or twice anyway though, I know a few people who wont be able to resist getting it, heres to hoping the multiplayer is decent. Ive based a few earlier decisions on whether or not I should invest in a game on what Ive seen here and I just have to say again that its great to actually get to see how a game works before buying it. Keep up the good work guys.
Where is the mellis minecraft part? You said at the end you will be showing something off. Will that video be posted?
Also, I didn’t expect much from this game, but I did expect MORE than this. Something like Bulletstorm style comedy with good gameplay mixed in.
Sad day for the duke
Like I said on the facebooks, I was so happy this was coming out I went and got the balls of steel edition. Got it and was so happy. Then before playing it the reviews started coming in and I decided to keep it in it’s packaging and send it back. It sounds good for a budget title or when it’s at like 30 bucks but not the full price especially not the full CE price.
So am sending it back and will wait till I can get it for cheap.
It was awful hearing you guys cheer for the game, knowing that you’d end up being disappointed. I’ve never really played a Duke Nukem game, so I wasn’t as emotionally invested. In fact, I watched your videos while trying to catch a Feebas in Pokemon Platinum (which is damn near impossible). Overall, I’d say DNF is a pretty average game that, of course, made for trailers that were much more awesome. If anything, you should have thrown your cats at the screen and let them tear Duke’s eyes out. Entertainment at its best!
“I came here to kick ass and chew bubble gum … and it looks like I got a few pieces of gum left …”
Hot damn, I actually got my Feebas, which makes Pokemon Platinum 20% more awesome! But take note, your average Pokemon game is very different from Duke Nukem Forever; one way to make a more botched Video Games Awesome episode is to feature a Pokemon game … unless you also feature the following video I made:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rrxDUOp2zjU
i’m liking the game so far , but to be fair i think i’m just shielding myself from the sucky parts and laugh at one of dukes sayings or something and that’s it , the multiplayer is pretty good at times especially with friends but a full retail price is a bit much graphics look shitty gameplay is generic would say only if you are like me and totally loved duke nukem 3d as a kid and don’t really have a sense of quality when it comes to old nostalgic feel shooters . not seeing this episode seems to be a pretty sad one i want my awesome episodes to be funny and watching you enjoy games.
really aswell expected more from duke nukem than this but still gonna play through it all (started a little youtube channel even and recording it^^) . man i feel bad now REALLY wanted this to be good not invative or anything just oldschool shooter but with more than 2 guns and some more epic moments and less puzzles tbh it gets better later on for me anyways but won’t let anyone of my friends buy it if they asked me if it is REALLY worth their money (45euros here). Still i’m enjoying it . I want an oldschool shooter to be good again thinking ut99 or duke nukem 3d . in a way it’s good that duke nukem isn’t all that great because if it was i wouldn’t be studying my exams right now
I usually like your series, but… I couldn’t go 3 minutes through this without thinking to myself “DO (solution to easily solved problem x) YOU IDIOT!”
Which is strange, because I’m usually good at handling that kind of thing. It’s just… I dunno. Maybe the game looking so mundane was aggravating me.
I KINDA liked this game (or atleast I dont hate it) and it does have some higlights here and there, but you are correct Fraser. This game has TERRIBLE pacing. Like the RC car level, it seems to go on forever! Same thing with the Mighty Foot monster truck levels.
Pretty much everything that is between action scenes and humorous stuff should have been cutted in half. It would have made game quite a bit better.
Also the 2 weapon limit is a complete disaster! Who the hell thought that would be a good idea in a GOD DAMN DUKE NUKEM GAME!? Who thought that Duke, who is pretty much a walking steroid monster capable of lifting 600 from a bench, cant carry more than two damn guns (no matter what size! Pistol and shotgun and not a one more, WTF?) + few bombs!?
Linear levels were not a big problem with me, as some levels were quite nice but I reeeallly would have preferred large non-linear areas, stuff like D3D levels were that is.
All in all, this game is a frustrating experience. Its so mediocre, and its only saving graces are Duke Nukems trademark outrageous humor which makes you want to go on, but that is also ruined by the bad pacing.
This game should have been above average action pack. A dumb game where you shoot shitload of alienst with big guns, spiced with tons of hilarious and cheesy dialog. This is the kind of game we were expecting and even wanting but no. Instead I think it tries to mimic Half-Life 2 but fails miserably.
Maazeus you hit all the nails i missed. Well said.
You can tell they’re starting to get annoyed with the game just by the pics for the videos. The first one they’re happy, and they just start to seem more and more bugged by it, then just plain bored at the end.
I hate how they stuck to the original game that’d been in development for so long. I don’t think anyone would’ve complained if they made a COMPLETELY different game, threw out the Vegas storyline, and left no trace of “Duke Nukem Forever” in the game and released a whole new game. They are capable of doing it (Borderlands is amazing!). You could’ve even called it Duke Nukem Forever, anyone who knows the game’s story would follow game sites enough to know it was a whole new game.
And I agree with your second thought Fraser, if it was going to play like an old-school game then it needed to be an online PSN/XBLA release. For any FPS to be worth full admission anymore, you HAVE to bring something new to the table and/or have a solid name or mode to it (Halo and/or CoD’s multiplayer or Battlefield’s use of the Frostbite engine, for example). Duke not only brought nothing new, but took steps back. Charging full price for a game that even advertises itself as being “nostalgic” (problem being, in this case it means “out of date”) is just not right.
saw it on blip.tv yesterday.
it´s depressing. I never was a duke fan,simply because I was playing consoles at that time and didn´t have a pc.
But I like the humor of the game,it´s bland stupidity and I had hopes in 2k and gearbox (and I don´t know how much they changed and how much is actually their work) but this is just depressing. They had the potential to give birth to duke once again and they screwed it up. I don´t know why and it´s not making me angry (since I have this kind of humor all around me…) it´s just disappoint,leaving a feeling of emptiness…and despair…and agony…and all this other emo shit
I missed the beginning of this live show, but came in probably just at the end of the part where they were excited and having fun with the game. Pretty much what I witnessed was the fleet joy and excitement, the frustration and boredom and then the depression and angry. And felt the exact same way they did just watching them play. This game had parts in that were just tedious and offered nothing; they were essentially a method to provide busy work/extent the game. They isn’t fun. By all means, put little puzzles or driving sections in your game, but don’t have them go on for a needless long time, and just be annoying. I nearly stopped watching the live show because of how bored I felt watching the tedious games; especially the part where you drive an RC car around. That went on for way too long! It nearly broke me, but I love these guys and I felt it would be disappointing to bail on them basically so I toughed it out and all of us who stuck around to watch the whole show got to see some amazing Minecraft builds by Mel and Bone, as well as “The Hub”, a place in their server that has all the portals to the various builds and communities and Sprite World which was literally just amazing art work on huge scales including a Deacon face, which Fraser blew up, which made it all worth it lol. The Minecraft stuff really saved the shows and lifted the depression and boredom we all felt after that game.
If you want to play the game, rent it or wait for a price drop because in its present state it is NOT worth your money. At least if you rent it you can work out whether or not you consider it worth buying or not, so that’s probably the best thing you can do.
This is not a flame, but just an honest opinion. I’ve played through the entire game and i’ll say that Duke Nukem as a character is made just the way i remember him from the old games- crude humor and macho to the max.
The game was stuffed full with funny things everywhere and the aliens were done right.
Those are all good things.
But the game itself was lackluster. The levels had a lot of potential when it came to their setting but they were too linear.
it was also too short for such a long development time.
The guns were….well not great, but not too bad either.
i’m usually not that occupied by graphics so i’ll just say they were dated and leave it at that.
Grand total is that if i could have gone back in time to pick this up in a bargain bin for half price it would be worth it, but full price?….No way.
I’m quite dissapointed with Duke Nukem Forever.
Oh wow, glad I didn’t waste money on this game.
It looks just so bland and generic, like a launch title for the 360 with a handful of “remember Duke Nukem 3D?”parts throw in.
I argued with one of my friends about this one game. I usually do not base an opinion on just viewing a demo or not even playing the game at all. This game here… well it makes an exception. I was bored watching this game. It looks like a title I would pick up. play 2 hours of and then play A Legend of Zelda for the NES, and I was a big Duke Nukem 3D fan. Hell, I played the 2D games of him too. All those 4 games where fun, this I may not even pick up for my PC.
Well it managed to keep my interest till the end of the game and I’m having a blast in multiplayer so for me this was worth it but this is a bad game and I know it but im still gonna try and enjoy it.
Just get Duke Nukem Manhattan Project instead. In fact, Fraser, I sent it to you as a download gift from gog.com to your farfromsubtle e-mail address, and at least salvage Duke for the many many players that haven’t played Manhattan Project.
Anyway, anyone else notice how the hair and expressions on the babes is less expressive and convincing than the pigtailed girl in the 2001 trailer? If that doesn’t tell you something, I don’t know what does.
Heh, just saw that in my inbox. I’ll give it a play after my vacation!
I should check MP out some time. I can give a positive vote for Time To Kill, which I played back on the PSX. Probably dated by now but I remember having fun with it – plus 4 player split screen multiplayer was really enjoyable.
fraser i know ur in vacation right now but have u posted or plan to post the E3 trailer show.. i miss the live show so.. i think it was the episode before the duke episode
I actually have Manhattan Project, in original CD form, sitting on my desk right now. Now that game was loads of fun.
Oh, yeah, me too. In fact, just reinstalled it. I love this game; in some ways more than Duke3D; MP is a true, some minutes to kill? Play a level game.
And Duke’s comments and humor just never lose their amusement factor.
I got the game on the 10th.Played it as far as the navigate past the electricity cord part which annoyed me.Achieved Lv 8 XP in Multiplayer but was put off by the lag.
I was /still am a huge Duke3D fan.Duke Nukem Forever is not worthy to be regarded to be a successor to that classic 1997 PC game.However i had fun at times it was not the experiance i wanted.
You have to press a button to pick up weapons….Why?
The Secret Areas and alternative routes are not present…Why??
You can no longer use the Boot melee attack.The Boot was Dukes signature attack!
Its overly consolised even on PC.I hate having my hand held during a FPS,esp. in a Duke game.
Where is the Jet Pack in single player? Again the Jet Pack made Duke3d stand out back in the Quake days.
Ok there where basic door opening puzzles in Duke3d but they did not distract from the gameplay as they do in DNF.
As the paths to the mission end/exit are more linear now you no longer get rated for how quick you clear a level.Beating your Best time in Duke 3d was fun.
All those niggles just add up and disapointed me.But i am still a Duke fan and always will be.
Peace.
If you’ll excuse me I’m going to go play Duke Nukem: Time to kill on the original Playstation.
It was painful watching you guys trying to figure out how to OPEN A DOOR. Or JUMP. Or PRESS A BUTTON. (what’s LMB? Really?)
It IS a mediocre game, but this episode made it look 3 times slower than it actually is.
The MINECRAFT part right after that, however, was EEEPIIIIIC.
Oh well, depressing episode, let’s just forget that and move on to AWESOME video games next time =p
Your mistake was that you expected dated graphics, but not dated gameplay. Fire up an old copy of Duke 3D and you’ll likely find a lot of your same complaints apply to that game as well.
For someone like me, who was a huge Duke 3D fan back in the day and can still remember first hearing about DNF in the 90s – I had zero hype for the game. Games do not go through 12 years of development hell, change engines half-a-dozen times, have their developer get sued by the publisher and go out of business – and still end up being good. It doesn’t happen.
Duke is by-far the worst offender in this regard – but if you look at other games that suffered similarly long delays and overhauls – games like Diakatana and Trespasser (both of which I was hyped for at some point in my life) – you’ll see that the pattern is clear.
One semi-entertaining trailer is nowhere near enough to rekindle my enthusiasm for a game that has so clearly just been a decade-long headache for everyone involved in its creation. The only reason Take 2 even bothered to commission Gearbox to finish the thing is because they already invested so much money in it.
I guarantee their instruction when handing over the reigns was something akin to “just make it playable and get it out” – and hey that’s exactly what we got.
Duke3D is amazing fun. You obviously haven’t played it lately. The difference between it and Forever is night and day:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H6JcZv3wPuU
And it’s obvious from the first second of gameplay.
Everyone should check out this trailer:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_MoufuUKLNo
And the newest High Resolution Pack:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3v7RyxbDdi0
The gameplay of DNF being dated isn’t the problem, what’s the problem is that isn’t dated enough. They put modern stuff in there like regenerative health and holding only two guns, which turns the game into a modern FPS, which by definition means it’s a boring pile of crap.
Old School, is the only place in FPS where you can have fun, because the “dated” gameplay is brilliant when it comes to have fun.
Serious Sam 3, folks, that’s where it’s at.
I think Ben summed up this game nicely. It’s a really disappointing goodbye to Duke Nukem. I just rented the game today and got a bit farther then the VGA group did before stopping for the night. Much like them I started out kinda pumped, but that faded to this bleh feeling. I too wasn’t expecting greatness or game of the year material. But like Fraser said: The humor and genuine feel of the older Duke games are few and far between. Gimmicky segments drag on far too long and the whole puzzle thing feels out of place for a character who generally solves problems with guns and explosives.
So I’m with Ben, this is the final long overdue nail in the coffin for Duke Nukem. The franchise died years ago and the only reason Duke’s name is still remembered is because of the development hell this game suffered. Now that it’s finally out, it’s over.
Sorry, but I am not going to watch this show anymore. After Bennet the Sage pissed me off about Homefront saying it is ‘forgettable’ or Angry Joe pissing me off by saying Final Fantasy 13 is ‘torture’ even if that is a fine game, I am having less and less shows to watch because sometimes I can’t stand to see the faces of these whiny ‘critics’… SERIOUSLY, what do you people want?! What do you expect? You spoiled whiny fools! Especially these stupid VGA fools! Seriously, what is your PROBLEM. Yeah, go ahead, rate this comment low; but please, hear me out, because this reflects the sad state of gaming where everything and EVERYTHING is ruined by stupid metagame concepts of qaulity and stupid ridiculous levels of expectation!
You know, I love Duke Nukem Forever, and I love Duke Nukem 3D. I am not a fan, but I do like Duke himself; he’s an awesome parody of cheesy action movie heroes! Duke Nukem Forever is the most fun I ever had in a shooter in awhile, or in any game in awhile. That means alot; Bad Company 2, not that fun anymore, Halo Reach, not that fun anymore, World of Warcraft, not that fun anymore… many of my games are simply not that FUN anymore, I don’t feel this FUN that I DO feel when I play Duke Nukem Forever. What is happening to these games I know I like or love, but don’t have much fun playing? We’ll take a good look at what fun and qaulity really means, and how it can distort the face of gaming, or ruin our perceptions of what is ‘fun’.
To those who hate Duke Nukem Forever: Quit talking about flaws and viewing things ‘objectively’ when it comes to ‘qaulity’. Qaulity doesn’t equal fun, it equals ‘qaulity’, which means things SEEM polished. Graphics, controls, and whatnot all finely tuned; but if I am not having fun something is wrong. Games are about fun. I am not saying all games should be ‘crap’ in terms of polish, but it seems these days games are losing fun factor in favor of ‘qaulity’ when it comes to cinematic stories or graphics. At least in my opinion.
When I look at DNF, I see extremely varied and diverse levels, with satisfying shooting mechanics and truly awesome badass weapons; it is so fun to blast aliens! The levels aren’t ‘boring’ or ‘linear’ either; seriously, what were you all expecting? Fallout 3? Fallout New Vegas? Some open world game? Even Crysis 2 didn’t please people enough despite the levels being at least SOMEWHAT non linear. Seriously, what do the majority of gamers or critics expect? I feel like a minority here, and I am always shot down in any argument when it comes to ‘qaulity and fun in games’. DNF, is ‘pure unadultrated fun’, as Gearbox says. If many people who hate DNF say this game’s flaws ruin the fun, then they are missing the point; they are not PLAYING the game, they are diminishing it into numbers and figures, into pathetic metagame concepts of qaulity or design. Just stop thinking and view the game as it is, and suddenly it becomes more fun. The flaws become only minor nuisances, and you all will have a great time.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with expecting qaulity in your games as well, especially for Duke Nukem Forever, which took around 14 years to even see the light of day. But that doesn’t mean it will meet expectations, these ridiculous expectations make the disappointment even more painful, and the critics angry as they give terrible scores to a game that is honestly more fun than anything out there now.
(For the TL;DR people!) To sum it up: At least Duke Nukem Forever isn’t some romp through the Middle East, a terrorist hunt, a modern war shooter, a stereotypical fantasy game, a mediocre free to play MMORPG, or a game with a 4 hour campaign.
You seem to be confused as to what linear means. When used to describe a level it refers to the path being straight with no side avenues to complete the stage. Unless you found a bunch of alternative ways to complete the levels in DNF, then everyone is correct in calling the game linear.
If DNF is that much of a breath of fresh air to you while trudging the dark mire of current video games, then have fun with it. Don’t label others as whiny and spoiled because they have different standards then yours. Others could easy say you’re the reason why there are so many bad games coming out these days due to your lack of standards. It’s a slippery slope, friend.
English in not my first language but… “qaulity”?
Dude, it’s clearly a typo. People make them. I may not agree with the guy, but don’t give him a hard time because of one misspelled word in a WOT that could pass as a short paper.
Are you sure you disagree with him? Looks like you didn’t even read it! It’s not a typo, much less “clearly”, and not ONE word. He wrote ‘qaulity’ NINE times. That’s one hell of a typo!
Unless it was intentional, then it’s just dumb. (and still not a typo)
Not a big deal, it’s just funny to read the guy all “serious business” saying ‘qaulity’
Hmm, looks like you’re right. I amend my previous statement about it being a typo; I should have read more carefully instead of skimming. One thing I will say is that I seriously doubt it was intentional on his part. I’ve noticed that a lot of people frequently stumble over one particular word or concept due to the way it was initially introduced to them (and it’s often times a word they use frequently). “Qaulity” is a new one to me, though.
Incredible, he replied civilly and without intending to offend. There may be hope yet for this comments section.
You have a real problem accepting that other people have opinions which differ from yours don’t you?
You were pissed off by Sage slating Homefront as being forgettable (which isn’t the same as bad by the way), and then at the end claim that Duke Nukem Forever is great because at least it’s not another modern war shooter? Homefront is Modern Warfare with a different skin…you contradict yourself greatly.
As for telling people to shut their brains off and have no standards in order to enjoy a game…that’s simply the stupidest thing I’ve read in a long time. When people are paying $60 or £40 a game, then they need to know about potential problems or faults that may result in them having wasted their money. By your logic, there are no bad games so long as a person is stupid enough to ignore massive flaws. Some people are graphics whores, so it must be mentioned if graphics lack polish when compared to other games because it is an important facet of the game for them. If controls are clunky or ill thought out, it must be mentioned so that the audience is informed, particularly if there are shining examples in other titles already on the market.
You state that DNF is “pure, unadulterated fun…as Gearbox says”, are you THAT much of a sheep as to trot out marketing fluff as a defence? It’s only fun for you because you have decided to turn off any and all critical parts of your brain and decided that the mere presence of moving lights on your screen is enough to keep you entertained.
You are a publishers dream – mindless and easily pleased, content to overlook glaring issues that should never have made it past testing and pay through the nose for the privilege. You are what is wrong with gaming.
The problem with DNF is not that the graphics are dated or that it has some flaws, for me (and I’m pretty sure for Fraser too) it’s that it just isn’t a lot of fun. There’s a ton of gimmicks that most of the time just waste your time, the two weapon limit is silly, combat is surprisingly dull and the boss fights are lame. It just isn’t fun for a lot of people. Guess they’re all whiny morons.
So your saying that we should have no opinion and like every game were given?
Don’t write a long comment just to sound like your smart and then spell quality wrong, granted you only just barely misspelled it but I digress.
There not winy, your standards are just low, If DNF was released a couple of years ago it would have been okay, but only okay because its still an first person SHOOTER full of puzzles and platforming.
See I’m only 16 and I didn’t play Duke Nukem 3D, Doom or Quake ect, so I wont get any nostalgia value out of it, and I don’t think anyone (except super fan boys) thought its was going to be the best game ever but at lest a fun game of full Balls to the wall action like Bulletstorm.
I was also watching this live on that Friday and mainly focused on the game because I was think of buying it, But because I was focusing on the game rather then VGA I fell asleep.
You Can’t say its good because its not CoD, but you can say its bad because its boring and also Turbo tip: Spell check is you friend
Let me sum up Arkveveen’s post in very simple terms:
U N S U B B I N G !!!
“I can’t stand to see the faces of these whiny ‘critics’…”
… and then goes on a multi-page, 6 paragraph whiny rant about what’s wrong with every video game player apart from him. Stay classy, guy!
I respect your opinion, but I personally had a lot of fun playing the game. I’m glad it finally came out.
Amazing! Nice, civil disagreement! No ad hominem attacks or poor assumptions. I thought that kind of comment was extinct.
Personally I enjoyed the game as much as I expected to. I won’t go to the problems that the game has since every reviewer has done that a million times already but I wanted bad jokes, pigcop shrinking and female objectifying and that’s what I got. I didn’t find the puzzles and platforming hard or frustrating, a tad long once or twice maybe but I was fine with that aspect of the game as well. I don’t know who thought this would be somekind of new benchmark in FPS games but for a Duke fan I think it delivered on its premise enought to be an ‘okay’ game.
I found that rogue reviewer you were looking for in Thunderbolt. They gave Duke Nukem Forever an 8(http://www.thunderboltgames.com/reviews/article/duke-nukem-forever-review-for-ps3.html). For reference, they also gave L.A. Noire a 6(http://www.thunderboltgames.com/reviews/article/la-noire-review-for-ps3.html). It is still the writers opinion, and at least he is honest, but that is just completely wrong to me. They are also by two different writers too though.
I was never really expecting anything out of the game in the first place. I was wondering how anyone could still think it was good after the game play and demo. It just did not seem fun to play to me.
PC Gamer also gave the game an 8/10. http://www.pcgamer.com/2011/06/10/duke-nukem-forever-review
All I wanted was a game that looks, sounds and feels like Duke Nukem. This game does just that, nothing more, nothing less.
One thing I don’t get is all the bitching about the puzzles. The puzzles are so easy that even a 5yo could figure them out. At least its not, find key-open door type crap and are slightly more diverse.
maybe i’m a minority but i came in expecting simply crude humor, duke’s god like ego, and cracks at recent and well liked games
and that’s what i got, so i’m liking the game so far
It really didn’t look terrible to me, and at least it tried to be entertaining compared to Halo or CoD. Of course, this is coming from someone who has never played Halo, CoD, or any of the Duke Nukem games, so pay me no mind. To me all shooters are kinda bland, so why this one is so blasted I won’t be understanding soon.
Man this game…definately not what most people where hoping for. I mean the combat gets boring after a while and the puzzle segments were definately stretched way too long. So this is how Duke Nukem ends huh? No. No, I wont have it! Someone, anyone, make another sequel and give Duke the game he deserves! Duke doesn’t deserve to end this way! Make another Duke Nukem!
Wow I think I may be the only one that actually thinks this game is enjoyable. I think it’s a lot of fun, enjoyed what I have played so far, and look forward to play more of it. I mean I went in not expecting nothing more than a fun romp as Duke Nukem, and for me this game has been delivering that. That’s just my opinion, though.
Well, I won’t base my game purchases on bullshit like this. I never do. Not just this but all the mainstream game critics as well.
I mean c’mon, who gives a shit what THEY think anyway? They are just over paid ass-hats!
Now now, calm down guys. I have much respect for all the folks at Far From Subtle. You all make entertaining videos and I’m sorry if I’m sounding like a hater but I’m not.
I’m just angry at the ignorance from all the reviews of DNF.
But fine, you all can disagree with me. I don’t care. I keep pissing off everyone for as long as I live.
I think you have the idea backwards about who is getting pissed off. Just calm down, man.
Fraser and company aren’t even game critics. They are gamers. And that’s why I take to heart their own reactions to DNF, especially since I can see onscreen what they’re reacting to at the time. I really didn’t expect much from DNF, like, at all. If I had seen it in a discount bin say 2 or 3 years from now, I might have picked it up. Now, I can know with some certainty that I’d be better off leaving it there.
I do happen to appreciate the game critics I do watch – Angry Joe, Zeitgeist, Bennett the Sage among them – especially when I can see a comprehensive and objective demonstration of a game’s capabilities and quality. I might not buy everything these guys like, and I might like something they don’t, but at least I can go into a game purchase somewhat knowing what to expect.
Again, Fraser and company are not reviewers; they are more like intricate let’s-players. But still, watching their videos gives me a good idea of what a game is like and whether or not I’d want to play it. I didn’t care about DNF before, and I care even less about it now.
But I will point this out yet again: at least they’ve played the game, and therefore have a frame of reference for their opinions. You’re getting highly ticked off, and you haven’t even played it yet.
Wow, never before has a video game left me so… disappointed. I’m with you, I was ready for nothing but guns, boobs, and crude humor, but all I got was… this.
The worst thing Gearbox could have done was release the demo. I think that, combined with the lack of a review embargo, says to me they thought this game was at least good. I doubt there was any attempt at bait and switch with the marketing. It’s like Chronicles of Riddick being a huge box-office flop a few years ago. They wanted to build a franchise out of it, but were out of touch just enough to blow it. Future Duke Nukem games will probably be downloadable-only titles for under $20 apiece. Nobody bought this game today, stores all over the place here barely sold any copies.
I do feel bad for the people who poured their hearts into this product, but they can’t all be winners. Even great games sometimes fail to sell (Deadly Creatures, Beyond Good & Evil, etc), so it makes sense that a disaster like this sells like a hot turd sundae. I bet more copies of Black Ops were sold today, and it’s half a year old.
I loved Duke Nukem 3D, and could not wait to get my hands on the game… Then I tried the demo. Normally I turn to the wife and make some excited comments. I sat quietly until I finished it, shut it off, and was speechless. It felt like my dad told me he’d bought me a new car, then said “haha! Just kidding!” when I go outside to see it.
I’m really with you on Deadly Creatures, I thought I was one of the few people who really loved that game. It’s atmosphere was just amazing, no other games I’ve ever played, before or since, has made me really believe I was that small.
I know that sounds kinda odd, but the world was believable, and you really felt like a tarantula and scorpion.
Well, maybe not when you bitch slapped another spider as the tarantula, haha. Though that was awesome.
What i think would be incredible, is a mockumentary covering the entire DNF development and all the drama and heartbreak that must have gone into it
Of course all you dumb ass trolls give me negative comments and thumbs down for my opinion. Fuck them to. No seriously, go hang yourselves.
Of course this game will get slammed by critics and other gamers alike. So you know what, fuck them! Maybe they just don’t get it.
I still want to play this game regardless. I’ll hold judgement till I do.
I do not expect this game will be a master piece 12+ years in the making. But I think it will be a fun solid title none the less. I mean hey, we all can be glad it’s finally released!
It is NOT trying to be like CoD or Halo or anything.
I gave you a thumb down because I gently disagreed with your opinion, I played the demo and that was… boring. I thought I could buy the game nonetheless but this video kind of proved my fear agains’t this game, fear portrayed by the demo.
Have some fun however.
How come whenever someone doesn’t like what they’re hearing about a game, they have to take an elitist “it’s not trying to be Halo or Call of Duty!” stance? Maybe the people who don’t like it aren’t fans of those either. Maybe the game actually isn’t appealing, and those people are entitled to that opinion? If you like it, good for you, but don’t be a prick when others disagree.
If is not trying to be Halo it sure knows how to hide it, the game have 2 weapon limit, shield regeneration, tedious driving sequences and torret shit that repeats over and over, also is a really slow game that doesn’t fit Duke character. It is pretty much Halo with Duke.
No SPac316, you are the trolls.
So disagreeing with someone automatically makes a person a troll? I think you completely misunderstand the point of internet feedback. Trolling would be calling you a braindead idiot who doesn’t know his head from a hole in a stump. These people simply disagree with you. For one thing, if you’ll read the comment I left for your previous post, you’ll note I raised a valid point: what defense can you offer contrary to the critics, if you haven’t even played the game yourself?
The first thing I did in the demo with the white board? Draw a cock aimed at the bad guy, and wrote “boner” above it. Is there anyone who can honestly say they didn’t draw a dick on the white board? (The answer is either “yes” or “lie”)
I kinda stopped finding dicks funny after my second visit to Newgrounds. Call it overexposure.
cheer up m8!
you alredy gave us good moments with other videos!
i share the idea that Duken Nukem (is nuked) Forever is a disapointement..
i played the game and i felt like that was a sacrifice to see some boobs and nice jokes and i quited playing about the same time and said exactly what you said..
better shows of videogame awsome gonna come for sure! I’m with you!
(looking to see you playing skyrim and diablo 3)
oh! and i’m waiting to see agry joe raging in pain about this! for sure was the super hype disapointment of the game history
Wow man you went through exactly what i went through infact you even gave up at the same time as me lol we both started pumped for some epic Dukeness lol and slowly relised how bad it was, at first being forgiving and eventually completly giving up, I really liked the vlog at the end to and not just because of the kittehs lol are you gona upload the minecraft thing that you went to after you played this?
I quit out after leaving the casino, which I think was immediately after that boss fight? My memory has blocked out most of the horribleness, so details are foggy. It seems interesting that so many people quit out at around the same point. I almost didn’t make it that far, except for telling myself it will probably get better. But after Lady Killer, I needed a break.
Checked out Total Biscuits 5 hour impressions vid and saw that the game just doesn’t go anywhere interesting at all. So that saved me 3 hours which were much better spent elsewhere.
I’m really sorry but I have to say this:
7 people have never played duke nukem game
Ben made the show awesome XD
I’m a bit disappointed that the poop was missed cause i would of assumed after drawing a bunch of cocks that you would of thrown shit at the brown noser next to you and just have a riot.
Anyways don’t feel too bad about even enjoying it a tiny bit Fraser. Games that are dear to our past should never make us go “ughhhh” unless they really fucked up on it.
Also on a separate note, during ur fangamer playthrough of super mario rpg you asked for help a few times and I wondered…for you’re up coming Chrono Trigger gameplay have you thought of maybe having a few people to help you out when u actually had issues? I understand for asking the chat to get people involved, but when people who know the answers can only post every two minutes, it gets kinda hard when messages they make aren’t super clear or they make a typo (you will probably notice a few in this post frankly) that or you get fake information from trolls. Anyways that’s just a suggestion, if you do end up looking for people for CT though just gimme a shout or something xD
There are some aspects that are really weak with the game. A lot of the problems you had cane down to getting lost in linear corridors. I’m currently playing it on the highest graphics settings and the textures are completely fine for me. I have loved the ludicrous number of game refferences they’ve managed to pack in it. It’s not a good game, but it’s amusing at least and outside the casino it cuts down hugely on the puzzles. Worth a rent but certainly not a buy.
And then they went on Minecraft and Martin and Bonefoot made it allll better<3
That was kind of heartbreaking to watch
I was gonna consider renting this from the demo, and I’m not saying “If you don’t like it, I dont”, but wow, did they stretch out segments like the shrinking, and the puzzles. Even people in the chat were just leaving or saying it’s not worth even pirating. The comedy made it much more bareable though.
Also wtf deacon said +5 words it’s the apocalypse
I’ve never played a Duke game before so I don’t really have an opinion on the franchise but this was heartbreaking to watch live and see the disappointment in the gang’s faces. It was like watching Linus not find the Great Pumpkin.
Thank goodness for Martin and Bonefoot,. The whole MineCraft crew should have their own Bat Signal. I’m sure that would make 47drift happy.
“This is a sad day for gaming, and the possible end of Duke Nukem… forever.”
NO FREAKING WAY! FREAK YOU, YOU FREAKIN’ FREAKS!
Now that Gearbox has the IP something good can and will be done with it. Gearbox haven’t *produced* a bad game yet. Randy knows what he’s doing…
Part 1 : He took his shoes off with the shoe laces still tied. SOME KIND OF MAGIC
Also, best cock out of all the let’s plays. Umm, Fraser… would you like to tell us something?
The 32-year-old Hotcakes (as stated in his youtube account) never misses a show of Fraser because he’s hoping that one day he could bone Fraser by replying to every videos he releases
Hotcakes got an instant boner again the moment he saw Fraser replying to him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You know, The_Game_Idiots was the most fitting name out of the 3+ accounts you’ve given yourself so far.
I know, the synopsis is pretty dramatic. Duke has survived a slew of bad games in the past and will hopefully rise again.
It’s that bad… the demo was unimpressive but I thought it was just, you know, the Demo’s lack of content…
I still hope they gonna do a third game, with a recent engine, new graphics and a real story.
*SPOILERS* The only pay off is when you kill the Cycloid Emperor final boss you piss in his eye socket.
Of course this game get’s slammed by people and critics alike. Maybe you all just don’t get it or something. I have yet to play the game so I’ll hold judgement till I do.
Wait, wait, wait. Let me get this straight: you’re complaining because the game is getting poorly reviewed and people like Fraser are saying bad things about it, and you haven’t even played it? Then why are you so uptight about it? Shouldn’t you play it first and THEN offer your counter-responses?
Here and on YouTube in a few hours: A sober second thought vlog.