Cosplay, a portmanteau of costume and play (original, ain’t it?), has become one of the most celebrated activities for anime and game convention attendees. It’s pretty much impossible to go to a con nowadays without seeing creative, wacky, and in some cases, highly disturbing portrayals of a person’s favorite character.
However, game characters are often designed for aesthetics rather than practicality, and as a result, many of their clothing or style choices honestly do not translate well to the real world, often because it’s just impractical, but also because in some instances, it’s just damn impossible!
This is a list that points out the most impractical, improbable, and downright silly characters to cosplay. I’m not saying that someone hasn’t already attempted to cosplay these characters, but these are the ones that I consider the most impractical to wear around a crowded convention center for any length of time! So then, let’s get it started!
Let’s start off with something that isn’t too far out there, but is still rather silly. The main reason this is on the list is just because of how cartoonish it is. It’s obviously an outfit that is designed to be worn by a child, but of course there would be plenty of adults out there who could stretch it out into an adult-size uniform.
All things told, this is an extraordinarily basic design, there’s nothing really complicated about the body structure, though you’d probably be hard pressed to find shoes that large that would still fit your feet comfortably. The color scheme is also pretty basic, consisting mostly of blue, white, and yellow.
No, the main reason that this ends up on my list is because of that freaky helmet! Look at that thing. That red thing on top, I have no idea how the hell you’d make that and not have it stand straight up without weighing a heck of a lot more than it should. Seriously, it probably helps that Billy already has a bit of a big head, but I’m pretty sure someone wearing that helmet in real life would be thrown off balance just from having to support it! Speaking as someone who has worn authentic helmets meant to act as armor before, I know how heavy something like that can be, just because some overly artsy designer decided to stick an unnecessary headdress on top of it!
Very simplistic, but it just goes to show that all it takes is one weird, overpowering accessory or piece to a costume to really draw attention to just how silly it would look in real life.
I’ll be the first to admit that Chopin isn’t exactly the first historical figure that I think of when I think of putting a known and respected person in history into a video game, but it has been done. Eternal Sonata is a rather strange RPG, and while it is pretty good, it does make us wonder just how such an idea came about in the first place. Then again, this is a Japanese RPG, things like this are pretty standard for the genre.
Barring that, I’m pretty sure that the real Chopin’s clothing was not so ridiculous. Yes, I understand that flashy suits were indeed the norm for the time, but come on, he looks like he just stepped out of Alice in Wonderland. The main reason that this is so impractical is that it’s kind of because the art design of the game gives all the characters, Frederic included, a very chibi look, and as such, every single thing he’s wearing looks like it’s way too big for him.
Thus, a costume for this character would have big bow ties, big cufflinks, and big freaking shoes, which seems to be a really common theme in Japanese costume design. Seriously, there’s no way his feet could be so big that he could comfortably wear those things, and I doubt anyone cosplaying them could either. The only thing that seems to be to any kind of scale in this ensemble is his hat, and yet those feathers, for some reason, take away any sort of normalcy that hat had going for it.
I suppose the ensemble could make you look like a baby Einstein, but unless you happen to be a chibi yourself, I seriously doubt that such a large and cumbersome costume would be easy to navigate around in.
Now believe it or not, this is the only character from Final Fantasy to make it on this list, and that is saying something considering that, like a few other lists I’ve done, I could have filled the entire list with characters from the series. However, in the interest of variety, I had to choose only one character, and once again, we find that there is only one real reason that this character is on the list instead of any other character.
Strictly speaking, the costume itself is basically just a kimono with some rather embarrassingly long sleeves, but there are two places that the eye is immediately drawn to when faced with a visual of this character. The first, but ultimately easier to ignore, is the exposed chest. Unless you plan on making some false abs to go along with it, or you are one of those gamers who actually manages to retain some semblance of physical fitness, this is probably not a good course to take. Just saying.
The second noticeable thing about this character, and the only reason that anyone remembers him is that set of giant, blue antlers he’s sporting. Yes, it is his hair, but that alone dwarfs pretty much every other ridiculous costume in the final fantasy series. How you would construct something like that, get it to stand up, and wear it comfortably, I have no idea.
Let me say this, just on a personal note. If you take the time to make something this mind-bogglingly crazy and wear it on your head, you are willingly keeping yourself from easily getting through any doorway ever made, and are endangering the faces of every single person in your vicinity! Seriously, I’m pretty sure he could gore a rhino if he just bent forward and charged.
Ganondorf in almost any of his forms would be tricky to cosplay, mostly because of how ornately he decorates himself. The only exception to this would probably be his incarnation in Wind Waker, but Wind Waker is a bit of an outlier in terms of designs. I chose his Twilight Princess design because… well, just look at it!
Out of all the designs the character has gone through, this is probably the darkest and heaviest out of all of them. When I say ‘heaviest’ I mean that it looks like he’d have to be a super buff to lug around all that armor all the time. Not to mention, that long cape must be really hard to maneuver around with. If you’re the type of cosplayer who goes for props as well, that big, glowy sword also looks like it wouldn’t be fun to tug around for a long time as well.
At least the stuff on his head is slightly more practical than a giant rooster headdress or a set of hair antlers, but Ganondorf’s hair color is also another aspect of his costume that I can imagine would be a bit hard to pull off easily. His armor is ornate, but could be done if you had some time on your hands, but the hair looks like someone dumped it in apple red house paint. I realize that there are a lot of different color dyes out there meant for this sort of purpose, but come on, even on Ganondorf himself, that hair still does not look right, especially considering how much it clashes with his complexion.
I will say that I have seen Ganondorf cosplayers pull off this guy well, but it’s always been in his Ocarina of Time portrayal, which is probably the most popular version of the character. Twilight Princess’ take on the character, on the other hand, put the character in what seems to be a much more complete suit of full armor. Kudos for wanting to give him a more practical defense against weapons, but I award you no points for making it look more like it’s there for decoration rather than function.