Ashens – Terrible Old Games: Oriental Hero, 9.2 out of 10 based on 43 ratings

From hero to zero – Ashens pokes fun at an almost unplayable old game.

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Rating: 9.2/10 (43 votes cast)
  1. July 30, 2011 at 08:35pm
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    What are those noises from the game? They sound like the damned evil of Saya no Uta.

  2. March 02, 2011 at 11:15pm
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    I do believe the crowd in Ninja Master had vuvuzelas.
    Also, my guess would be that a specific sequence of moves takes out the stabby guys (since you had good luck only on first hits, and only with a specific opening move).

  3. March 02, 2011 at 12:44pm
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    I always hated games where one hit kills you but enemies take more than one. That’s basically saying you’re weaker than EVERYONE IN THE WORLD yet are expected to be the one to save it.

  4. March 02, 2011 at 02:23am
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    Do you think they could have come up with a more generic title?

    Like maybe, “Asian Protagonist” or “Eastern-type Good Guy”.

  5. March 02, 2011 at 01:08am
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    I actually had the C-64 version of Ninja Master growing up. (Firebird also released their catalog in retail stores here in the US). Had no idea there was an abysmal tie in to that ho-hum game. Some of these games you showcase on occasion could easily be Until We Win torture projects. Of course now LordKat will probably drive two hours out of his State into mine for suggesting this idea.

  6. March 01, 2011 at 10:14pm
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    Holy crap, was that first magazine article racially insensitive. It replaced every L with an R, and vice versa. God damn.

  7. February 21, 2011 at 12:37pm
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    This make me glad that i did not start computer gaming until Warcraft2 came out. ( oh how i miss it )
    on a different note.
    Americans can be strange in what they consider racist. I got chewed out for saying ” Bloke” because the person thought i meant it as ” British white trash.” When i explained that the term for that was “chav” and not Bloke they did not believe me and told me to be more excepting of other cultures mere minutes before describing someone as a ” Stupid Juanita” and then telling me to “go back to Sweden and drink myself to death in the snow.”

    I just stared at her and told her i was from California. It blows my mind when the racists tell people not to be racist, when there was nothing orignally racist to begin with.
    ( the lady that said all this to me’s sobriety was in question as she had pupils the size of bottle caps and spoke a little too quickly ) { and yes this story is slightly exaggerated }

  8. February 16, 2011 at 06:45pm
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    I remember getting the crash magazine, wow that feels like forever ago now :p

  9. February 16, 2011 at 11:48am
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    Hah, Ashens really nailed the review with that last line.

  10. January 24, 2011 at 04:12am
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    Great vid, Doc. :)

  11. January 24, 2011 at 02:48am
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    I’ve been looking the most horrible sound effect ever to it use as a alarm clock-tune of my cellphone (i have trouble waking up sometimes). I think i’ve found a winner, cheering crowd from Ninja Master. A fucking coma patients would wake up to that.

    • January 24, 2011 at 07:56pm
      In response to OdeForCruelty
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      I’d love it if you could upload that somewhere, I’m in the exact same situation!

  12. January 23, 2011 at 08:15pm
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    Finally, a new TOGYPNHO episode!

  13. January 23, 2011 at 06:17pm
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    “There are no words.”

  14. January 23, 2011 at 01:57pm
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    hahaha blue dildo =]

  15. January 23, 2011 at 03:29am
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    Fantastic review. Love your reviews. Love when you review electronics too.

  16. January 22, 2011 at 09:43pm
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    Loved it.
    Awesome as always, Ashens.

  17. January 22, 2011 at 07:12pm
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    I’ve seen better graphics on a microvision.

  18. January 22, 2011 at 04:54pm
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    Awesome review!

  19. January 22, 2011 at 04:01pm
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    HIlarious video

  20. January 22, 2011 at 03:27pm
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    Thanks for brightening up my day Ashens, your series rocks :-D

  21. January 22, 2011 at 02:05pm
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    Wow, the crowd noise is damn scary. Sounds like they are coming down from the stands to tear the ninja’s head off or something.

  22. January 22, 2011 at 11:28am
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    Oh Ashens, that new intro is horrible.
    In a good way.

  23. January 22, 2011 at 08:42am
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    That crowd sounded like the screams from the pits of hell.

  24. January 22, 2011 at 05:01am
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    I have one question for those people who worked in Tron Sofware and thats “what were you thinking?”.

  25. January 22, 2011 at 04:20am
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    excelent reviewwwwwww

  26. January 22, 2011 at 03:15am
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    I’d say that Oriental Hero is a shitty clone of Kung Fu Hero/Kung Fu.

  27. January 22, 2011 at 02:15am
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    Yes i owned this too..i guess they were trying to compete with Gremlin’s Way of the Tiger,only without the 1 on 1 combat…which is stupid really.

  28. January 22, 2011 at 02:12am
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    Wow that game is so bad…indeed this is a fitting punishment for “Tron” software

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