Mindjack

Players: 1 Offline Player, 2-10 Online Players
Publisher: Square Enix
Genres: Third-Person Shooter
Release Date: January 18, 2011
Developer: Feelplus
MSRP: $59.99
Platforms:
Mind Hackers have taken over the world in the year 2031 in the new action-adventure IP MindJack from developer Square Enix.

Mindjack Angry Review, 2.9 out of 10 based on 23 ratings

Angry Joe Gets Jacked-up!

Angry Joe literally loses his mind reviewing Mindjack from Square Enix. It’s only January and we already have a strong candidate for Worst Game of 2011! How can a concept this interesting be executed so poorly? Find out!



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Rating: 2.9/10 (23 votes cast)

Mindjack Review

Mind control taken to the next level: taking control of humans and robots, hopping between hosts, pwning everything in your way. Sounds awesome!

Mindjack Angry Review

Angry Joe literally loses his mind reviewing Mindjack from Square Enix. It's only January and we already have a strong candidate for Worst Game of 2011! How can a concept this interesting be executed so poorly? Find out!
  1. October 29, 2011 at 06:40pm
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    I call a missed moment of awesome for the moment that the robot boss was dancing. Now anyone from Latin America sing with me:
    Mi vieja mula ya no es lo que era……..ya no es lo que era……..ya no es lo que era……..
    Mi vieja mula ya no es lo que era……..ya no es lo que era……..ya no es lo que era……..
    Mi vieja mula ya no es lo que era……..ya no es lo que era……..ya no es lo que era……..
    Mi vieja mula ya no es lo que era……..ya no es lo que era……..ya no es lo que era……..

  2. July 19, 2011 at 10:30am
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    i bought this game took it home i played for 15 or 20 minutes, i then jumped back in the car drove back to the store and told the guy that i bought it for my son but i picked up the wrong game because he already had it. the bloke gave me a refund and after he put the money in my hand he said “its ok mate i know its the shitest game ever, i would have brought it back for a refund to” i’ll never forget that. too funny.
    Totaly Broken

  3. February 21, 2011 at 10:36am
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    Someone may agree with me on this. This looks much worse than Sonic Free Riders. Compare both games, Sonic is a masterpiece.

  4. February 16, 2011 at 05:39pm
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    “What is Happen” indeed.

    Honestly, this, and the king of Engrish voice acting, Resident Evil, I wonder how the hell the dialogue gets that bad. I mean, at one point they had to give the script to a bunch of English voice actors and said “Okay, speak this.” and there was more than likely a voice director, and everyone had to look over the words at some point considering they said the things and told the director “Hey, this makes no grammatical sense. Can we alter it?” I mean, sure, in a text based game they could just run it through a translator and not give a second look, but by now… jeez.

    Ah well, I’m rambling. Ah, Square, how the mighty have fallen.

  5. February 14, 2011 at 05:03pm
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    i thin square enix SERIOUSLY needs to play games outside of what they make.

    because i dont think they’ve made a good game since…..

    ill get back to that

    (dont say arkahm asylum, because im sure they didnt have much to do with it.)

  6. February 05, 2011 at 07:42pm
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    Oh so funny. Good review, Joe.

  7. February 02, 2011 at 03:41pm
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    Best review yet, Joe. Well, of 11, anyway.

    Anyway, when’s your Best of 2010 vid coming out?

  8. February 01, 2011 at 07:46pm
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    Wow a 1/10? Is it really that terrible? It seems to be a monster let down in gameplay execution, but it must have had at least some fun element in firing off rounds using a mind controlled pawn.

  9. February 01, 2011 at 04:14pm
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    This reminds me of a “telekinesis” game that was actually good… Psi-Ops: The Mindgate Conspiracy. You can levitate all kinds of objects, throw barrels at enemies, throw the enemies, take over their minds and control them, start a fire with your mind, remote vision. And you regain mind energy by draining their brains. That game was fun… and the bosses were usually mind benders as well. One of them threw train cars at me.

    • February 02, 2011 at 11:48am
      In response to Amantes
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      I loved that game! And there was another game based around telekinesis released at nearly the exact same time called Second Sight. It focused less on action and more on puzzle solving and story. I think you were a mental patient with very little memories, and bit by bit they would return to you along with more powers.
      It was brilliant, and had a really well executed dark tone.

  10. February 01, 2011 at 03:57pm
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    To those who say it is not Square’s fault that is utter BS. It is very much Square’s fault because they Published it. That means they looked over this atrocity of a game and felt “wow this is a great game, lets endorse it!!” A smart publisher would have looked over a game more thoroughly and if they found flaws would have sat down with the developers and dicussed what would need to be changed or they would not Publish it.

    Worst of all they figure that Square fans would be stupid enough to think that if they just slap the title Square Enix on a game fans would immediately love it and buy it. Not only are they at fault for publishing the game, they try to use sleezy methods just to get us to buy it. And for those who think that Square Enix developed it can u really blame them? Every single advertisement and commercial has “SQUARE ENIX” slapped everywhere and the actual developer hidden away.

    • February 02, 2011 at 03:37am
      In response to sassafrass23
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      Ok man let me explain why SE would do it even tho the game is bad recently they have lost a lot of money on FF XIII and FF XIV so when a company like Feelplus comes to you and says we will pay you X amount of money to publish our game at no cost to you except your rep at this point in time the money is more important to them.

      • February 14, 2011 at 01:31pm
        In response to tougakun
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        Umm.. They didn’t really lose that much -if any thing at all- on FFXIII, not really sure where you got that idea at all. Just because people can’t shut up about how bad it is doesn’t mean it didn’t make money, it’s sold over 5million copies by may of 2010, and most likely many MANY more since.. Plus, the same engine is being used for at least 3 other games that have yet to come out, which will more then cover the cost of developing the engine from scratch -which is where most of the money went in developing FFXIII.

        But yes they did lose quite a bit on FFXIV, your at least correct there.. Theres no denying their MMO flopped hard.

        Also, I’m fairly certain you don’t know how publishing works so I’m going to give you this link http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Video_game_publisher

        I’m 100% certain Square paid out A LOT to bring this game out and didn’t get a cent from FreePlus to publish the game for them. Thats why you hear from time to time (like in the case of Brutal Legend) that a game needs to be shopped around before its ever released and that publishers will pass on a game all together even if its got huge hype. If the developer was paying money to the publisher then hell yeah they’re going to take the money and run, but obviously that’s not the case since every publisher isn’t jumping on every game that comes across their desk..

  11. February 01, 2011 at 05:54am
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    Fun review, always a treat to see you loose your mind over these shitty titles Joe. ^_^

    Just one thing.
    Okay all you haters, Square Enix didn’t make this game they PUBLISHED IT so please just chill the fuck out, Feelplus developed it. It would be like saying that Square Enix Made Batman: Arkham Asylum and Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 which they PUBLISHED when it was released in Japan. Know the difference FFS.

    Second, the title card thing says “Mind Hackers have taken over the world in the year 2031 in the new action-adventure IP MindJack from developer Square Enix.”… yeah Square Enix is a developer and the game is technically “from” them I guess because they clearly funded it, being the publisher and all… but as as your info thing to the left clearly says it’s developed by Feelplus and published by Square Enix meaning they had nothing to do with the games development so why would you write that it’s “from developer Square Enix” if not only in order to fuel the obvious “Square Enix sucks!”-crowd? I dunno, I’m just in a pissy mood and I love most of the games that Square Enix’s own studios develop, end of rant.

  12. February 01, 2011 at 04:07am
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    Is…Is Square-Enix even trying anymore? Have they made a good game in the last five years? What the hell?

    • February 14, 2011 at 01:36pm
      In response to Takatchi
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      Publishing and developing are often two different things -just as it is here. If you actually take the time to separate the two you’d see that theres probably an equal split between the good and the bad… Since they didn’t make this game and didn’t actually make many other more recent flops (like the newest Front Mission -it was a classic Square title, but it was given to another developer) you can’t totally place the blame on them outside of pressing the discs.

  13. February 01, 2011 at 03:24am
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    square wasn’t this bad until ps2. After that they where bad. I still wonder what happened to their brains now days, especially when I play Chrono Trigger.

    • February 01, 2011 at 03:42pm
      In response to wyldfox
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      Yes crono trigger is great but square made great games on the ps2 also, FF7, FF9, Crono-Cross, and legend of Dragoon. All classics. On the other hand after the merged with Enix They only made 2 good games, Kingdom hearts, and kingdom hearts 2. Arguably FFXII but maybe not.

      • February 02, 2011 at 11:07am
        In response to The_Critic
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        Not that I disagree about them making some great games, but FF7, FF9, Crono-Cross, and Legend of Dragoon are all Playstation ONE games, not PS2… I agree that they are classics, but they aren’t playstation 2 classics.

  14. January 31, 2011 at 10:12pm
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    haha! Wow I think this should have been released on the PS2 where it belongs

  15. January 31, 2011 at 08:52pm
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    Jesus, just wow. I thought this game looked so promising, an interesting concept, and G4 glamorized it to look so awesome.
    What a waste of a good idea, nothing is redeemable in this. Glad I didn’t spend 50 or 60$ for this piece of shit.

  16. January 31, 2011 at 07:27pm
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    On the comments about it not be a SE developed game: This is exactly why a developer should be careful with what properties they decide to publish. SE isn’t responsible for this, but their banner gets top billing on this stinker, hence they tend to catch the blame. So I’d say “Shame on them” for not being careful about which products they attach their name to (especially given that their real reputation is damaged from FFXIV.).

    Phew, man though, two 1 out of 10s in just a few months. What next? LOL

  17. January 31, 2011 at 06:28pm
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    may i please ask why deus ex human revolution was delayed to 2012 when it’s clear this game probably needed that delay more

    SE you are slowly but surely are becoming the LJN of our generation

  18. January 31, 2011 at 05:51pm
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    You know the title reminds me of Brain-jacking, a feature in the underrated Dreamcast game Maken X.

  19. January 31, 2011 at 04:31pm
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    Ouch. I know that square didnt develope the game but it is still under there name. They are going to get a lot of heat for this. What’s worse is that it pretty much hot off the wheels of the final fantasy game that they had to apologize for. I hope that this doesnt push back the release of Deus ex even more. Did they not play the game and check the quality before they released it?
    I hope they get it together because I think square CAN come up with really good games.
    To Joe, another great review . And thank you for telling me not to buy this game :)

  20. January 31, 2011 at 04:26pm
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    Oh, I wasn’t even paying attention that Squeenix released this one. What a surprise, taking an old idea that sounds neat on paper and releasing utter crap. People are asking why they’d let this get released. Should be obvious – they care more about concepts and cutscenes than execution.

    The dev, feelplus (yes, made partly of former Squeenix employees), released Ju-on: The Grudge for the Wii btw. Just thought you’d might like to know the depths they wallow in when they’re left to their own devices.

    I’m sorry, Joe, for the extreme suffering Squeenix seems to want to inflict on you.

  21. January 31, 2011 at 04:05pm
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    An action game… developed by Square Enix. I’m sorry, but that should’ve sent up red flags the moment it was announced. Squeenix doesn’t know how to DO action beyond button mashing like Kingdom Hearts, and even then, they’ve never known how to make decent enemy AI in a game that isn’t fought on a 2D plane where both sides line up and take turns. They have good ideas, as evidenced by this game’s premise, but they simply shoulda stuck to what they know.

    • February 14, 2011 at 01:06pm
      In response to LDSocrates
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      Not developed by Square, its PUBLISHED by Square.. Yes they’re name is all over the cover, but they didn’t actually make this.

  22. January 31, 2011 at 02:51pm
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    Wow… This game seems to really SUCK. Awesome review as usual Joe! =)

  23. January 31, 2011 at 02:31pm
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    I love how they act like Mindjack is a whole new concept, when it’s been done before with Geist, a Gamecube title.

    And I own and have played Geist… and it’s lightyears ahead of this game.

    Instead of hacking a person’s mind, you’re essentially a ghost (forced out of your body through some crazy expariment). So now, you have to posess people, animals and objects in order to find your body, figure out what’s going on and try to escape.

    Like Mindjack, you take over enemies who are succeptable (in the case of Geist, it’s through fear). Part of the game is to terrify people by screwing with objects in the environment so you can posess them (for example, you scare a woman in the bathroom by posessing the mirror and showing her a twisted version of herself). Like Mindjack, whatever weapons or abilities the enemy has, you get for that time, but unlike Mindjack, you don’t have a host body to return to. You need to have a person to posess or it’s game over. Additionally, in multiplayer, you need to posess a new body/object while your original body/object is still “alive” or you die.

    They are really awesome about their object posessions in the game too. For example, you can take control of missiles in flight, then re-direct them back at the enemy. One boss battle has a guy throw grenades at you. The way to beat him is to shoot him while he’s holding the grenade to get him to drop it, then posess the grenade, roll it behind him and detonate.

    The posession mechanic is even smarter. While you’re in ghost form (outside of normal bodies… in single player only for obvious reasons), time slows to a bullet-time pace so you can assess the situation and choose your targets appropriately.

    Geist wasn’t very well-recieved, but if you give it’s single player campaign a try, it’s actually pretty good… at least it’s not Mindjack…

  24. January 31, 2011 at 01:54pm
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    Square Enix should really be careful with who the publish…

    But I have a ton of faith in Deus Ex 3

  25. January 31, 2011 at 12:20pm
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    The wasted potential is what gets me. Such a cool concept. It looked like they were making a good game but, about half way through they just stopped and released it.

    :C

  26. January 31, 2011 at 12:16pm
    Sai
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    So was this Squeenix’s attempt at making a game that would appeal to Americans?

    They honestly haven’t been good since the Enix merger, rather than quickly push out shit like this they need some drastic restructuring.

  27. January 31, 2011 at 11:53am
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    I don’t care who made this. To take a concept as interesting as this and do poorly at it is inexcusable. I would think something like this would be better suited for a survival or puzzle game, not a straight-up shooter game.

    Also, wtf is up with the multiplayer options? I mean my god, it seems just as gimmicky as the Fable III Black Dye option.

  28. January 31, 2011 at 11:52am
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    This game reminds me a lot of Geist, only Geist wasn’t offensively bad… overall I just looked at the cover art and thought to myself, “that game looks like crap”. Overall I’m not surprised this game sucked. Also as Killsteal_Wolf said they did not make the game, but they payed money to distribute this pile of shit which is a odd move on their part, did they play it at all, also who the fuck did they hire to do the translation, I’ve seen fan-dubs better than this game. Overall this game shouldn’t exist, I mean really do they even test the games they publish anymore I mean seriously

  29. January 31, 2011 at 10:53am
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    …So I’ll take this as you hating htis game more than Sonic Free Riders.

    But why is Square so determined to make and publish terible games. The’re like Geroge Lucas and Michael Bay.

  30. January 31, 2011 at 10:11am
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    I want to get this game just because it’s so bad. I’m gonna wait a long while until it’s super cheap though (which actually may not be that long).

    That review was hilarious btw (and no it’s not because of your review I want to get it for its badness, I saw a quick look of it on giant bomb and it looked just as bad with less effort).

  31. January 31, 2011 at 09:29am
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    Now I’m glad that this isn’t being released on PC. Or if it is, maybe they’ll fix a few things first…

    Like ALL THE GLARING FLAWS.

  32. January 31, 2011 at 09:04am
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    Great Review (perhaps your best)! xD Was very joke intense. Had lots of laughs. Keep it Up! :)
    ——
    p.s. what a ridiculous game, some real low grade crap. haha

  33. January 31, 2011 at 08:38am
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    People People PEOPLE. You have been misinformed. Square Enix did not DEVELOP the game, they PUBLISHED the game. There is a key-difference between Publish and Develop. If your going to treat publishing the same as developing. Then you might as well praise Square Enix for “developing” games like Batman Arkham Asylum and Black Ops. Big difference, SE was just payed to put the game on the market. It was Feelplus who produced the game. Not Square Enix.

    Though I question WHY Square Enix let this through the net without telling the producers “This game is not complete and needs serious work” I guess it’s just for money or contract reasons. SE should take a minor part of the blame, but not ALL of it. That should go to the developers, feelplus.

    • January 31, 2011 at 10:19am
      In response to Killsteal_Wolf
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      yay some actually does there research, indeed square didnt develope the game but indeed you do have a point why would they let this through. Feelplus from what i read is mainly a visual production team

      another good example is “yeah EA did a great job on dead space and mass effect” see how that didnt make sense because anyone with common knowledge on these titans of games know its bioware/mass effect and visceral games/dead space

      hate when people want to jump on the banwagon without there research

    • January 31, 2011 at 07:46pm
      In response to Killsteal_Wolf
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      Finally someone other then me agrees on this I have noticed on this site if you try to point out this the SE haters like to thumbs down you.

  34. January 31, 2011 at 08:30am
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    Man, that seems like a great, great game to point and laugh at.

    As long as you don’t have to play it, anyway.

  35. January 31, 2011 at 07:19am
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    I was going to get this game when I first heard of it, it seemed like a great concept…thank you for showing me otherwise.

  36. January 31, 2011 at 06:11am
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    Square-Enix are you really trying to f*ck up every game you are responsible for ? Now I’m so scared about Deus Ex 3 :-( Please God help them make a great game….please :-( No more bad games….please.

    • February 14, 2011 at 01:09pm
      In response to BossPanzer
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      Umm.. what did Square fuck up here? They didn’t even make the game.. The only thing they’re responsible for at all is that they published it and brought it to our attention.

  37. January 31, 2011 at 05:01am
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    Mindhacking? Some one in Square must have watched lot of Ghost in the Shell becouse its like taken from that. Major difference is that unlike this game, GitS movies and series are actually good.

  38. January 31, 2011 at 04:38am
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    Well, Square had a good run.
    EDIT: However, if they can get back on track by publishing couple of shoddy titles, I won’t mind.

  39. January 31, 2011 at 04:09am
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    Anyone remembering “Messiah” ? You had to play as a little angel called Bob (great name by the way) who is able to posses other people. This was a fun game! And MindFuck looked like it could be a good game… but WTF? How could you mess up a game this bad? It’s almost the same concept as in Messiah!!! How can you fuck up a game that would have been even better if they just copied Messiah?
    Damn you Square/Enix! Damn you!

  40. January 31, 2011 at 04:01am
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    Square Enix shouldn’t have let this get on store shelves.

    What a giant piece of crap. Thanks for the entertaining and enlightening review.

  41. January 31, 2011 at 04:00am
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    Ah, Square/ Enix, how the mighty have fallen.

    I find it rather funny at this point that they have now been totally screwing their once good name by trying to make games which appeal to wider audiences, ironically losing more people than they gain.

    I blame Toriyama, he’s the guy who inherited charge of the company and he doesn’t even play RPGs. He in fact said that Final Fantasy was supposed to be more like Western RPGs, like Tomb Raider and Hitman.

  42. January 31, 2011 at 03:28am
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    Lemme see if I got this straight.

    Final Fantasy 13: sucked
    Final Fantasy 14 Online: monumental failure
    Mindjack: sucked

    Is anyone else a little anxious/worried about the outcome of Deus Ex 3?

  43. January 31, 2011 at 02:50am
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    This is in the top 5 WORST games I’ve ever played. I’ve had enough of Square-Enix I think, first FF XIII then this, its enough to make you pull out your own teeth in rage.

  44. January 31, 2011 at 02:27am
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    Wasn’t there a game about hacking into people’s minds to use them? I think I saw one for five dollars on the gamestop shelves. Maybe angry joe should have bought that if only to save the money.

  45. January 31, 2011 at 02:01am
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    Seriously Joe… Seem you picked the wrong game… Dead Space start the year way better

  46. January 31, 2011 at 01:30am
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    You and Spoony should team up and destroy the evil forces of Square/Enix.

  47. January 31, 2011 at 01:23am
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    hmmm… Another really bad Square Enix game, I’m starting to see a trend. I believe Square Enix has turned into the George Lucas of the video game industry as in they made some great things in the past, but now its just getting sad.

  48. January 31, 2011 at 01:12am
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    Heyyy ! >>>ANGRY<<< Joe is back! Finally :D
    Hilarious! Love it :D

  49. January 31, 2011 at 12:49am
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    BTW I didn’t know Joe made a voice cameo in Arby n the Chief lol

  50. January 31, 2011 at 12:27am
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    I was counting on this game to be good,but I guess it sucks balls.I personally think that game developers that have experience making a certain type of game are better off,but not always,I think Bioware would have made this better.On another note:Ya know that food critic dude from the movie “Ratatouille” ? well I think Angry Joe is an awesome video game critic,and If he was A kinda advisor/Critic to video game developers,he could just say “Take that game back!” “It’s not perfect yet!” and “This game is shit! FIX IT” just a cool idea I thought of :D

  51. January 31, 2011 at 12:27am
    PIE
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    Wow that ninja was hilariously easy.

  52. January 30, 2011 at 10:07pm
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    I think the big reveal 6hours in is meant to be ” OMG i am not really agent Jim just someone using him” But the implementation of this was poorly thought out. Sounds like a far more interesting story is going on behind the scenes, someone using the mindjack technology to uncover the corporation’s dirty secret or some shit. But we are not shown that part and have to guess at WTF is happening.

    • January 31, 2011 at 03:17am
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      Actually, that seems likely. It would explain the whole ‘Do not make contact’ to ‘Neck Snap’ moment.

      • January 31, 2011 at 10:50am
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        I think that some explanatory cut scenes and missions were cut or just never finished. This game seems an unfinished product, it has work to be done on it for sure. It is possible this was pushed out ahead of time so the team could be used elsewhere. Or there was some tie in movie that never got made that plugs the plot holes.

  53. January 30, 2011 at 09:13pm
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    What Happaned to you Square? Back in the days of FF8 <–( my Favorite game), FF7, FF9, FF10, you were about the fans and the games. Now you are nothing but a greedy, snobbish company. Your first strike FF!3, second strike FF14 online, Third Strike Mind Jack, YOUR OUT! I, myself could alrady predict this game would FAIL MASSIVELY. But Joe, i wanted your opinion and review before i even thought about purchasing this crap game. :)

  54. January 30, 2011 at 07:51pm
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    I haven’t played the game, but is that last cutscene meant to imply that the characters are not the ones mindjacking, but you the player is? Like, the characters are your pawns, and that’s why they are acting irrationally? Cause in a good game, that would be an interesting twist.

  55. January 30, 2011 at 07:15pm
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    Wait a minute… Who the heck are the two people who actually said this was a great game?! Was that meant to be a joke or were they just on drugs?! Or possibly, there are just hardcore Square fans that are in denial that Square is capable of publishing crap.

  56. January 30, 2011 at 06:31pm
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    I’m just imagining what this game’s conversation would be like to something like Dead Space 2

    Mindjack: Hey DS2, check it out. I’m gonna be the first game out in 2011
    Dead Space 2: By all means. *holds door to 2011 open*

    After Release of Dead Space 2
    Dead Space 2: *Looks at Mindjack sitting at bus stop while walking to car* Hey, Whats up?
    Mindjack: Eh, I suck. Who would of thunk it right?
    Dead Space 2: Uh, right. Ummm I gotta go. Good luck though *Gets in Corvette and drives away*

    I never even heard of this game until I saw reviews on this site. and I’m really glad I hadn’t

  57. January 30, 2011 at 06:09pm
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    Why didn’t they make like a stealth / spy game where you’re infiltrating, sabotaging and doing all sorts of espionage with this mindhacking thing, taking over people? Why do you have to shoot them first, doesn’t that take away the point?

    • January 30, 2011 at 06:25pm
      In response to Shadowflame66
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      It’s like in Pokemon! You have to weaken them in order to catch them!

  58. January 30, 2011 at 06:00pm
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    FeelPlus? the same people who developed that crappy Grudge game for the wii?

  59. January 30, 2011 at 05:52pm
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    Oh and if you haven’t looked at the feelplus link I put up they are also developing the game Moon Diver that I have seen a lot of people saying its going to be a awesome game.

  60. January 30, 2011 at 05:50pm
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    It seemed like a good idea for a game, but once again they focused on that the idea of the game would make it great, and said “Fuck it” with every thing else.

  61. January 30, 2011 at 05:35pm
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    Hmm… Final Fantasy XIII, Final Fantasy MMO, and now Mind Jack. I,m worried about the future of Square. If Tactics Ogre, Dissdia 12, or 3rd Birthday does bad…

  62. January 30, 2011 at 05:29pm
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    They didnt make the game they were just payed to stick there name on the game to sell the game Feelplus made a bad game not Square Enix.

  63. January 30, 2011 at 05:07pm
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    It’s sad that people here don’t bother to actually research things and just jump on the bandwagon and blame SE FeelPlus made this entire game themself and actually Feelplus was set up by Microsoft to help mistwalker http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Feelplus not too hard to actually find info out but it is just easier for people to blame SE cause its the “IN” thing to do these days.

    • January 30, 2011 at 05:28pm
      In response to tougakun
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      What’s that have to do with anything? They still made a bad game. And SE published it.

      So SE does take part, but not all of the blame.

      • January 30, 2011 at 05:34pm
        In response to Earthbound_X
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        See its like this Feelplus payed SE to publish the game cause they would have never been able to sell the game just on the merits on they are a no name group so just like breath of fire one where capcom didn’t think they could sell a rpg with the capcom name so they payed Square Soft to published it cause Square had a good rep at the time with rpg’s.

    • January 30, 2011 at 07:08pm
      In response to tougakun
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      They can be blamed for having no quality control of their published 3rd party products as well as their own internally developed IP’s.And if the rumours are true that Square Enix demanded that GasPowered Games dumbed- down Supreme Commander 2 in order to reach a more mainstream audience then it severely backfired.

      Seriously when Square put out Bushido Blade,Einhander and the Tobol games they were doing something right.Not so much now which is a crying shame.

      • January 30, 2011 at 07:29pm
        In response to destro9
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        Really this wasn’t a issue of quality control this was a issue about SE loosing money on there recent games and when a company comes to you with money to just put your name on it your probably going to take it since its not costing you as much money as your getting from the developer

        • January 31, 2011 at 12:35pm
          In response to tougakun
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          Then if that is true that they took the money and run then they should have known better.
          Square were responsible for the CGI cut scenes in Supreme Commander 2 and the upcoming Deus Ex 3,so they have “some” say in the development in “certain ” 3d party games.

          However i do not Square Enix to fail.I LOVED their 16-bit generation RPG’s and the Playstation 1 games i mentioned before .They are trying to compete in a overcrowded market place (Sega and Namco-Bandai also publishing 3rd party western developed games) but they need to rein in the quality control before it is too late.I hope they do.

  64. January 30, 2011 at 04:44pm
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    Well that’s the lowest score I’ve seen for this game, hehe.

    I wonder, what does Joe hate more? Mindjack, or Sonic Free Riders?

  65. January 30, 2011 at 04:38pm
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    It’s a good thing I saw this review! I’ll make sure to stay very, very far away from this game. It looks awful! >_<

    Omg, and when he showed the boss fight footage…ugh, even just looking at that horridness was painful! That robot wasn't even trying to shoot the player, it was just shooting the ground and looking like it was doing some tap dance or something.

    Great review Joe! It was very funny and a joy to watch! :D

  66. January 30, 2011 at 04:19pm
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    Not really surprised. I saw the E3 trailer of this game back in August and it looked bland and uninteresting then. Though I will give it credit, it looked boring when it really was painful. Clever bastards.

  67. January 30, 2011 at 03:22pm
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    This was funny as hell
    Wow, I never even got an email from Square on this game which means ….THEY KNEW IT WAS CRAP from the start

    • January 31, 2011 at 12:48pm
      In response to Birdman
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      Square-Enix did email me about this one with a trailer saying ‘Do you want a copy’. My response was a very delicate ‘F*%$ No’. Joe and Micah then told me they had got a copy each….I could have warned them before hand, but that would have made for a far less funny show!

      The boss man needs to be tortured with games like this sometimes, generally when I want a laugh!

  68. January 30, 2011 at 02:13pm
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    I had a feeling we would see Corporate Commander laughing and saying that all was going just as planned, oh well. I Hope the next game you review is a lot better or maybe you should go see tiger.

  69. January 30, 2011 at 01:47pm
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    Obviously they take ammo and weapons away from you since your supposed to mindjack the heavily armed civilians. The environments are hazard as well because you can mindjack.

    The game seems like it wasn’t really complete, like the AI wasn’t implemented and was kicked out of the door which I can only assume means that they stuck with their deadline rather than delay and make it better. Probably only come up as an average game if everything worked correctly.

    Interesting that one review sort of enjoyed the sillyness of the game, though he did not go into multiplayer as much.

  70. January 30, 2011 at 01:17pm
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    theres monkeys with guns but no sharks with frickin laser beams???

  71. January 30, 2011 at 01:16pm
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    And now look at Capcom’s “Ghost Trick” for the DS, which features a similar gameplay element wrapped into a puzzle game/detective story with time travel. And its unbelievebly AWESOME!

    • January 30, 2011 at 04:53pm
      In response to Synthex
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      To be honest, that sounds just like Disgaea Infinite lol. The idea of the game is to use mind-control on people to influence the outcome (preventing the Overlord’s “assassination” and saving the Prinnies’ salaries), time-traveling every time you mess up. Though, the only thing you really get to do is follow (or as the game calls it, possess) people, see what they’re thinking, and when they try to make a decision, you can change it to affect how the story will progress.

      I’d only recommend it to hardcore Disgaea fans, though, as the gameplay gets boring and tedious after the comedy wears off. It is fun for a while, and last I checked, it’s only $20 on PSN (it’s for PSP, btw), so I guess it’s worth a buy, you know, if you’re into that sort of game.

      Ah, but to say something on the video, that was one of the funniest Angry Reviews I’ve seen in a while. It’s just so much fun seeing Joe just FLIP OUT at how bad the game gets lol.

      • January 30, 2011 at 05:04pm
        In response to Qarx
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        Disgaea Infinite? I didn’t know this game, tanks for the info!

  72. January 30, 2011 at 01:06pm
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    HAHAHAHAHAHA
    LMAO with the ninja part of the video! XD
    OMGWHATDOIDO?! OMGWHATDOIDO? OMGWHATDOIDO?
    OMGWHATDOIDO?! OMGWHATDOIDO? OMGWHATDOIDO?
    *while running from side to side*

  73. January 30, 2011 at 12:32pm
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    It’s sad when the only successes Square Enix has a claim to these days are Kingdom Hearts and Nier, and considering the negative reactions to Re:coded, they’re losing their grip on that series too. If it wasn’t for their promoting Versus XIII, Type 0, and XIII-2 I’d think these guys want to go out of business.

  74. January 30, 2011 at 12:05pm
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    Not trying to defend Square Enix but they are only the publisher not the developer. Blame the right people here please.

    • January 30, 2011 at 03:33pm
      In response to Futago
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      In the publisher/developer relationship, the developer tends to let the publisher influence the decision-making of a game since they’re the ones agreeing to market and produce the game, and they also more often than not cover development costs, so Squeenix still deserves blame.

      • January 30, 2011 at 04:52pm
        In response to SCXCR
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        Actually not all true Square published the 1st breath of fire which they in no way had any control over sometimes companies pay big name publisher to put there name on there game so it sells.

        • January 31, 2011 at 03:18pm
          In response to tougakun
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          Right then, so if Squeenix had nothing to do with this game, how come the game’s producer is Yoshinori Yamagishi, a Square-Enix employee?

  75. January 30, 2011 at 10:54am
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    That motorcycle cutscene is so disappointing. They hop on, use a tried-but-true one-liner, put the pedal to the metal (even the taillights look like jet engines) and then drive off at reasonable speed. Reminded me of this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9R1DoxviIKY#t=9m43s

  76. January 30, 2011 at 10:52am
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    I’ve always wondered, why in some videos you edit your swearing out and in some you leave it in or you will edit it out in some parts but then 10 secs later you would swear again and its not bleeped out. My guess its just for a little of a comedic effect on the ones you really want to stand out with the others just being part of a rant and let it flow by

  77. January 30, 2011 at 09:47am
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    Bravo, I laughed! So did my girlfriend, who heard you freaking out from the other room and had to come and investigate.

  78. January 30, 2011 at 09:17am
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    I knew that this game would suck, the moment I saw the trailer on the Blistered Thumbs Youtube channel.

  79. January 30, 2011 at 08:57am
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    SquareEnix has pretty much died as a top tier game company in my eyes. We can only look back fondly to the past when Squaresoft was the best RPG company working on the Playstation.

    • January 30, 2011 at 10:42am
      In response to Rigs83
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      Don’t you get that the reason for all of their failures is that they are trying to “westernize” their games so that they will earn some cash outside Japan aswell.
      It’s a shame tho, i hope they see that it’s a complete waste of time and return to making what they do best.

      • January 30, 2011 at 10:49am
        In response to ky0n
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        So the last Final Fantasy games were “westernized”?

        • January 30, 2011 at 11:01am
          In response to kshade
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          No not really, but i never said so, i’m not trying to defend the latest FF installments because they where a real let down. FFXIII Is actually pretty good but it’s a shame you have to play for about 30 hours untill that happens…

          But if you did not know, i guess you dont, Square actually does other games then FF :O

          • January 30, 2011 at 11:10am
            In response to ky0n
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            “Don’t you get that the reason for all of their failures is that they are trying to “westernize” their games”
            “So the last Final Fantasy games were “westernized”?”
            “No not really, but i never said so, i’m not trying to defend the latest FF installments because they where a real let down.”

            Yeah, okay, whatever.

          • February 04, 2011 at 02:18pm
            In response to ky0n
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            That is a load of horse shit, ky0n, and I think you know it. The Final Fantasy franchise has been the poison dagger that has slowly but surely killed the Square Enix development franchise and the fact that you have to play for 30 hours to get to the actual fun part of Final Fantasy 13? Yeah, pulling bullshit like that would put most developers and publishers completely in bankruptcy. Final Fantasy’s problem has never been western games that they publish. It is the fact that they have ruined the franchises of our childhoods and inspired the same populist rage that Other M received as a result (if anything, by not allowing any western influence in at all and making them obtuse, purely Eastern affairs that don’t work beyond their borders and don’t work within their borders considering how trendy western things have become there among the Japanese youth). In fact, the original Final Fantasy and many subsequent installments had a great deal of Western influence using Western fantasy as a base while telling an Eastern story.

            Square Enix isn’t suffering because of Western games they have published so I am afraid you are going to have to come to the painful realization that Japan is not a magical land where the streets are made of candy and sexy Japanese school girls will sleep with everyone and Square Enix is not run by faultless wizards whose only mistake was allowing those vile, imperfect Caucasian influences in. Take off the sweat soaked fake cat ears, please.

  80. January 30, 2011 at 08:47am
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    The only thing i say it has going for it that the cut scenes have a nice high def sheen to them.
    THAT’S IT.Don’t those enemy bosses even hit? Do they even attack the player? Or just stand around looking gormless?
    Square-Enix and Sega are are just pissing on there own legacies..even as publishers not just developers.

  81. January 30, 2011 at 08:43am
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    Well…that sucks.

    Seriously, how did a game that broken, badly voiced, and unfinished even get published? Didn’t they Beta test this-oh, oh guess not.

    Good luck recovering AngryJoe, if this game is an indication of 2011, we’ll need you quite a lot in the coming months.

  82. January 30, 2011 at 08:29am
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    Hopefully this isn’t a sign of things to come with Parasite Eve 3. I mean the story’s gonna be better (theoretically) but looking at just the gameplay the two look very similar; a third person shooter with the ability to jump into different bodies

  83. January 30, 2011 at 08:22am
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    I do not envy you guys playing this game. Those t-shirts would look cool. ;-)
    Loved the robotic “bitches” at the end, Joe. :D

  84. January 30, 2011 at 08:10am
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    It sounds awesome to take control of a normal girl with no combat traning to destroy giant robots and armed soldiers but everything else is is a complete turn off and briliant story telling, tell the player who has been tortureing them selfs trying to play this game that everything they’ve been doing IS FUCKING POINTLESS! I would be in a catatonic state to if I were to be kidnapped and forced to play this, cause thats the only way I see myself playing this.

  85. January 30, 2011 at 07:55am
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    ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL.

  86. January 30, 2011 at 07:31am
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    Monkeys are the best the game has? Was this designed by Homer Simpson?

  87. January 30, 2011 at 07:29am
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    Joe, you and I need t-shirts that say “I survived Mindjack.” Playing through this game was torture, but at least you and I survived after a few laughs together.

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There Will be Mindjack DLC

Posted by [ 2 years, 3 months ]

Despite its critical evisceration, Square Enix has seen fit to approve two downloadable map packs for the third-person sci-fi shooter.

Mindjack Angry Review

Posted by [ 2 years, 3 months ]

Angry Joe literally loses his mind reviewing Mindjack from Square Enix. It’s only January and we already have a strong candidate for Worst Game of 2011! How can a concept this interesting be executed so poorly? Find out!

Mindjack Review

Posted by [ 2 years, 3 months ]

Mind control taken to the next level: taking control of humans and robots, hopping between hosts, pwning everything in your way. Sounds awesome!

Mindjack Review

Posted by [ 2 years, 4 months ]

Mind control, as a concept, hasn’t been seen much in gaming. There are a couple

Mindjack Preview

Posted by [ 2 years, 4 months ]

There are plenty of awesome things that gamers have been able to do in video

There Will be Mindjack DLC

Posted By about 2 years, 3 months ago

Despite its critical evisceration, Square Enix has seen fit to approve two downloadable map packs for the third-person sci-fi shooter.

Mindjack Angry Review

Posted By about 2 years, 3 months ago

Angry Joe literally loses his mind reviewing Mindjack from Square Enix. It’s only January and we already have a strong candidate for Worst Game of 2011! How can a concept this interesting be executed so poorly? Find out!

Mindjack Review

Posted By about 2 years, 3 months ago

Mind control taken to the next level: taking control of humans and robots, hopping between hosts, pwning everything in your way. Sounds awesome!

Mindjack Review

Mindjack Review

Mindjack Angry Review, 2.9 out of 10 based on 23 ratings

Mind control, as a concept, hasn’t been seen much in gaming. There are a couple of titles I can think of offhand that have used it (the Oddworld games, Psi-Ops), but it’s been an underutilized part of fiction when it comes to this particular medium. This is where Mindjack comes in. The basic premise of Mindjack is to put the player (or players) in a situation where they can control their battlefield through a digital method of mind control. Rather than using psionics, your character digitizes his or her consciousness, and transfers it to person or machine to use in combat. So, is this game capable of taking this concept and making it fantastic, or should this game simply go brain dead?

PROS Decent gameplay, very interesting gameplay concept
CONS Terrible level design, frustrating multiplayer, a non-existent story, and a bland sound design
WTF?! Ten foot cyber gorilla that can’t take two bullets to the face when I control him

The plot of Mindjack takes place in the future, where the government of the US doesn’t have as much power as it used to. At this point in time, it’s all about corporations. As the main character of this game’s storyline, you must use your skills both on a technological level and physical level to unravel a conspiracy. If you don’t do so, the world is forfeit. Sound familiar? Yes, I’m aware that it sounds like the plots of most science fiction movies. Thing is, that vague description is literally all I know about the storyline of Mindjack. Throughout my six plus hours of play, all I can tell you is all that I just said. I could have simply read a synopsis from a press release.

There is no plot in Mindjack. Just stuff like this, ad nauseum. It is not as fun as it looks in screenshots.

The reason for this is Mindjack is a game that has terrible, terrible writing. Now, I’ve been known to criticize a game like Halo 3 or Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 for bad writing, and I’ve done it justly. Those games have terrible plots with gaping plot holes. Mindjack, in itself, has no plot whatsoever. It’s one thing to have a barely cohesive plot that simply strings the player along a sequence of firefights. The most that Mindjack tells you is this: Your objective is to kill everything in front of you so you can get from point A to point B. Oh, you wanted character motivation? Not happening. We’re not telling you why you need to get from point A to point B, why the characters care, or why you should care. Just get there, or shut off your console. The story, the characters, and the plot of this game are simply dead on arrival.

Visual presentation in Mindjack isn’t bad by any stretch, but it’s by no means perfect either. The graphics are well polished, and though gunmetal colors are overused, it’s all rendered fairly well. The character models don’t look bad either, though I have a couple of gripes. The first one is that the eyes of the characters look like flat surfaces in their skulls. However, the biggest issue in the character models isn’t in design, but in use of them to tell a story. If you look at a game like Uncharted or Mass Effect, a painstaking amount of detail goes into facial animation to properly convey emotion. There are points in Mindjack where a character will be trying to convey an emotion, and there’s nothing there. The face simply moves little, and thus destroys immersion.

Character models look good in screens, but aren't used well.

The sound design in Mindjack almost doesn’t deserve that much of a mention. In description of the sound effects, the most that I can say is “they’re okay.” Truthfully, there’s not really much of a punch to them. The only part of said effects that I feel worth mentioning is the “Wanderer” sound effects, which are annoying to the point where I had to shut off my surround sound. The soundtrack is also incredibly repetitive, but at the same time is barely there. To my knowledge, there are maybe four tracks present in the soundtrack to Mindjack, but I’m prepared to be corrected. The reason for this is that there could very well be a full fifteen to twenty song soundtrack present in the game, but so many of the tracks are bland and repetitive to the point where they meld into one another, like when minutes pass in the mind of a bored person.

2/10

Mindjack Review

Mind control taken to the next level: taking control of humans and robots, hopping between hosts, pwning everything in your way. Sounds awesome!

Mindjack Angry Review

Angry Joe literally loses his mind reviewing Mindjack from Square Enix. It's only January and we already have a strong candidate for Worst Game of 2011! How can a concept this interesting be executed so poorly? Find out!
  1. February 04, 2011 at 07:27pm
    In response to Article
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    Is it me or does that enemy in the last screen look just like The Fury from MGS3?

    Anyway, great review, terrible game. Can’t say that I was looking forward to this, I had never heard of it!

  2. January 29, 2011 at 05:38am
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    goddammit square why you always have a good premise but you can’t have a good gameplay (i know square published it but they can at least give it a demo test to see if there’s problems with gameplay, glitches, ect then they release it after fix the problems)

  3. January 26, 2011 at 07:03pm
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    Damn the concept sounded so awesome. But this game poorly executes it. This game could of had real potential if it was in the hands of a real developer. But I’m sure that can be said for a number of bad games.

  4. January 26, 2011 at 11:12am
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    http://movies-music-games.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/11/tony-hawk-project-8-ps2.jpg – That was clearly the inspiration behind the cover.

  5. January 26, 2011 at 04:19am
    In response to Article
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    Mindjack? More like Mindf*ck.

  6. January 25, 2011 at 10:46pm
    In response to Article
    VA:F [1.9.21_1169]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)

    [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Joe Vargas, K L J. K L J said: RT @AngryJoeShow: Blistered Thumbs Mindjack Review by @TheCynicsCorner http://bit.ly/etuZ3d [A taste of whats to come from the AngryJoeShow] [...]

  7. January 25, 2011 at 03:58pm
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    It’s a shooter developed by a noname (feelplus) and releasesd by Square Enix … was anyone seriously surprised?

  8. January 25, 2011 at 11:30am
    In response to Article
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    I bought this today, as the premise seemed good…and now I wished I had checked here before doing so >.>

    Protip…read reviews before buying a game, now to go back tomorrow to return it…

  9. January 25, 2011 at 05:01am
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    Dear crap Micah, you say this game attacked your soul, yet you still wouldn’t give it a one? What would you give a One to?

  10. January 25, 2011 at 04:52am
    In response to Article
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    Just a Note at the top you correctly label SE and the publisher but on the deal just under that you say from the developer SE rather then the real developer FeelPlus

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Mindjack Angry Review

Posted in Angry Joe Show [ 2 years, 3 months ]

Angry Joe literally loses his mind reviewing Mindjack from Square Enix. It’s only January and we already have a strong candidate for Worst Game of 2011! How can a concept this interesting be executed so poorly? Find out!

Mindjack Review

Posted in Zeitgeist Review [ 2 years, 3 months ]

Mind control taken to the next level: taking control of humans and robots, hopping between hosts, pwning everything in your way. Sounds awesome!

Mindjack Preview

Posted by [ 2 years, 4 months ]

There are plenty of awesome things that gamers have been able to do in video